From time to time, we here at The Lost Ogle like to make fun of different cities in Oklahoma. It’s fun. (You should hear what we have to say about Gotebo.) But this got us to thinking. Why not do a series about various stereotypes that we all associate with different cities in Oklahoma? Well, seeing as how I’m pretty much down for anything, I decided to take on this momentous task in a series of posts.
So, without further ado, I give you five stereotypes about Midwest City.
1. You think MMA is a viable career option.
Who wants to work all day at a boring 9-5 sort of job when you could have a job where really sketchy dudes literally destroy you? That UFC octagon seems to be pretty glamorous to the folks from Midwest City, whether you want to get in it or just date someone who does. I’m not sure what it says about the overly masculine men folk from Midwest City that they seem so ready to don some tight short shorts and put other dudes in a rear naked choke, but just know that I’m giving them the side eye.
2. You or someone you know raises pitbulls.
Who doesn’t love a good puppy mill? Don’t be stupid. Nobody loves a puppy mill. And nobody likes a dog in a choke chain. But you know, when you have a purebred dog with papers, you have to breed them right? And well, selling dogs is the second best job in the world, next to MMA fighter.
3. You believe the only accessory for a truck is a Monster Energy sticker.
Much like boring moms from Edmond have to put stick figure stickers of all their spawn on their back windows, you have to put a Monster Energy sticker on yours. Are you sponsored by Monster (Sponstered)? Nope. You just like to consume a dangerous amount of caffeine. But let’s be honest. Nothing really finishes off a primer colored truck like an energy drink sticker.
4. You actually enjoy eating at Mr. Spriggs BBQ
According to my ex-boyfriend Chad, the best part about Mr. Spriggs is the commercial.
5. Your favorite KATT deejay is Jake Daniels.
Although if you had to pick your favorite KATT deejay ever, it would be Blade Runner.
6. You can make a marijuana pipe out of any type of fruit, including grapes.
7. You know someone in real life who has been on Maury.
Let’s be honest. Everyone has some drama. Just, well, some drama needs an intermediary, a paternity test and a lie detector to bring some resolution. And Maury provides that resolution.
8. Your parents' favorite restaurant is Pelicans.
Well, at least since Steak N' Ale closed.
9. You spend a lot of time reassuring people that you’re better than people from Del City.
It’s all about perspective, really. And Midwest City is just better than Del City. I mean, of cities that are east of I-35, Del City makes Midwest City look like Beverly Hills. According to a recent Census, there are fewer Juggalos, pairs of JNCOs, and neck tattoos of spiders in Midwest City than there are in Del City. So, it's easy to see where that Beverly Hills comparison comes in.