Oklahoma politics are synonymous with intelligent, progressive and forward thinking individuals who do what's best for all people. I'm sorry. I spelled "any other state" as "Oklahoma." There are some politicians who are good and honest and noble and true. Then there are those who are listed below.
Actually, before we get the list, keep a couple of things in mind.
• There are probably 200 - 300 politicians we could list as finalists. For example, neither Jim Bridenstein or Markwayne Mullen made the final cut. You would think having the name Markwayne would be an automatic qualifier for a list like this. Not in Oklahoma.
• Listing all those people doesn't matter, because Sally Kern is going to win.
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Josh Cockroft
Oklahoma State Representative
Earlier this year Cap'n Cockroft wanted to cut funding for the arts in OKC. He wanted to do so because...it doesn't matter. Anyone who seeks to take money from the arts is the type of person who probably shouldn't be put in a position of authority. Without art there is nothing. Whether it's a painting, film, song or overpriced fried food at the Arts Festival, art makes life worth living. So basically he wanted to de-fund everything that's great about life.
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Mary Fallin
Governor of Oklahoma
In all honesty, there are probably worse Oklahoma politicians than Mary Fallin. Then again, Patrick isn't suing those other politicians. She has to make the list, right?
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Jim Inhofe
US Senator
Based on voting records, Tom Coburn and Jim Inhofe are the two of the most right wing senators in congress. If you are a rich, white, Republican, conservative, and hate science, then he is the senator for you. Doesn't believe in climate change, voted against a bill to help reduce teen pregnancy, thinks Obama should be impeached over Benghazi and so on and so forth. He's basically the type of senator Oklahomans of the future will look back upon and wonder how he ever got elected. Of course by "the future" I mean Oklahomans living in the year 3456.
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Dennis Johnson
State Representative
Dennis Johnson, while debating a bill allowing retail merchants to charge less than 6% above cost, used the phrase "Jew Me Down," and then laughed it off like it wasn't a big deal. He's basically just another super cool example of how out of touch our state representatives are with pretty much everything.
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Sally Kern
Oklahoma House of Representatives
She thinks gays are worse than terrorism, thinks evolution is a sham, and 20 other things that garnered her a Buzz Feed list. If you thought you'd be lucky and we'd be rid of her, not so fast, part of your brain that's optimistic. Her husband is going to file to run in 2014 because God told him so. I can't wait to see what nuggets of hate dribble out of his homophobic pie hole.
Also, she's going to win this category. For next year, she will be grandfathered. And just to piss her off, we're going to call her a gay grandfather.
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