46 Reasons Why Oklahoma is F*cking Awesome (Part III)
3:41 PM EDT on July 3, 2013
Before we get to the list, some notes:
• There's obviously more than 46 reasons why Oklahoma is awesome. Seriously, we could have easily taken this thing into the 60s or 70s. We settled on 46 because Oklahoma is the 46th state, and so we could have one more item than BuzzFeed. Keep that in mind when you leave a comment saying "Yeah, but how did Bart Conner not make the list!" or "Really??? Nothing about Craig Groeschel???"
• I'd like to thank all of our TLO contributors and some Ogle Moles for helping with this project. This includes Jenni Carlson. In case you didn't know, Jenni is the person who provides us with all the inside information about OPUBCO.
• Have a happy 4th of July holiday. We're taking the rest of the week off, but we'll be re-posting some of our more notable and popular posts from the first-half of the year on Twitter and Facebook. If you don't follow us on either of these social media venues, you suck more than a stuttering parrot.
To the list...
31. Hugh McDougall, DDS
This guy is a dentist from Tulsa. I've heard that if a mustache hair falls in your mouth during your cleaning, he'll give you get a free teeth whitening session.
Thanks to his moustache, misshapen Colbert ear and obsession with howling wolf artwork, Hugh McDougall is widely considered to be the coolest person that you'd ever let touch or x-ray your teeth. Also, don't worry. He's not the dentist that gave everyone AIDS and hepatitis.
32. Noodling Babes
I was going to write about this last week, but kind of forget about it. Everyone knows Oklahoma is home to noodling and noodlers, but we're also home to noodling babes. Here are some pics from the Bareknuckle Babes Noodling Calendar:
Yikes. On some of those, I'm having problems figuring out which one is the fish. Who would have thought we'd find a modeling competition to make Miss Rocklahoma look classy?
Okay, I know that any state can make this claim, but:
1. I think I read somewhere that Oklahoma City has more fast food joints, per capita, than any other city in the country. That's pretty convenient if you're in hurry or want to shorten your life.
2. Not every state offers an onion bagel from Ingrid's, a steak sandwich from Del Rancho, a burger from Nic's, a sancho from Los Tacos, macaroni and cheese from Iron Star, an egg salad sandwich from Queenies, or lasagna in Krebs.
3. Damn. Now I'm hungry.
34. Going to the lake
I'm not a big lake person. I'd much rather play water volleyball in a chlorine chemical bath than swim with a bunch of snakes, bugs and blue algae. That being said, Oklahoma has a lot of lakes and people like to go to them. Yippee.
I've personally never tried meth (what a square, huh?), but so many people use it that it must be good, right?
36. Color Me Badd is from here...
This spot was down to Color Me Badd or Woody Guthrie. Since CMB is more popular – and has the guy in the band that looks like Kenny G – I went with them.
Sometimes I think it would be nice if Oklahoma had logical, rational political leaders that didn't use a 2,000 year old book to guide and influence most of their policy decisions, but what would be the fun in that? We got to have something to write about.
38. The Hooker - Beaver High School Sports Rivalry
This is one of the best hoops rivalries in the state. When these two teams hook up, the players go hard, rarely take a blow, and the Video Vigilante streams it on his website.
39. Casinos that look like historic world wonders
When you go inside, ask someone to show you the catacombs (a.k.a. Penny Slots area)
Since Tinker Airforce Base is apparently the AWACS hub for the universe, these planes are vital and important to the Oklahoma economy.
Also, that picture accurately portrays the altitude in which these planes fly when performing training exercises over Midwest City.
41. Lot's of famous people were born here
There are lots of famous and notable people from Oklahoma, but way too many for this list. We may try to count them down some day.
42. The Channel 9 vs Channel 4 TV Weather Wars
Even though severe weather is dangerous, scary and destructive, the battle between Channel 4 & 9 for ratings dominance is both humorous and entertaining. They steal each others talent, unveil secret weapons (KFOR: The Dominator; KWTV: Malfunctioning Giant iPad), and hire adorable and charming severe weather babes.
43. Thunder Cult
We love our Thunder here in Oklahoma. In fact, we love them so much that it's become a minor cult that's supported by the Thunder's glorious propaganda machine. I heard next season that everyone in Loud City has to wear robes and eat something called Perkins Green. Also, why are there blue and orange helicopters circling my house?
This is what I wrote about Derplahomans back in January:
You know who Derplahomans are. They’re those stupid, ignorant people who think Obama is Muslim communist dictator, want prayer (and guns) allowed in public schools, and think gay people are the biggest threat to the country. They live around you, work around you, and vote for all the bat-shit crazies that run this state.
Without the Derplahomans we wouldn't have the great politicians that provide so much material. Therefore, Derps are awesome.
45. Still calling them "The Myriad," "The Omniplex" and "Sooner Fashion Mall"
We all do it.
46. State Fair Folk