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Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Southeast Region (Upper Bracket)

Welcome to Hump Day which is just like Humpty-Hump Day but without the fur hat and rubber nose.

Here's your Ogle Madness VI Southeast Region-Upper Bracket match-ups

(1) Emily Sutton vs. (16) City of Hooker

(8) Jaime Cerreta vs. (9) Linda Cavanaugh

(4) Chuck Norris vs. (13) James Lankford

(5) Mike Morgan vs. (12) Damon Lane

So get to voting. I'm gonna go get busy in a Burger King bathroom. See what I did there? Wore out a premise in one sentence.


(1) Emily Sutton vs. (16) City of Hooker 

emily sutton weather vane

(1) Emily Sutton

Conference: Past Ogle Madness Winners; Hot Meteorologists

Who She Is: KFOR Weather Person Non-Male Division

Biggest Strengths: Has managed to not jump ship to Channel 9; won last year's Ogle Madness

Biggest Weaknesses: Saw her at Vast with a fella which made me want to jump out the window.



(16) City of Hooker

Conference: Towns I thought were located on 29th and Robinson

What It Is: A town not full of what you'd think. They should have named it “Middle Aged Crying Carhop”.

Biggest Strength: The town's official motto is awesome. “It's a location, not a vocation.”

Biggest Weakness: A location, not a vocation.



(8) Jaime Cerreta vs. (9) Linda Cavanaugh


Conference: FOX 25 Newscasters Not Named Speno

Who she is: The Nicer of the Two Attractive FOX 25 Female Anchors

Biggest Strengths: Isn't a jerk.

Biggest Weaknesses: Dave Morris is her boyfriend. Really? Come on!



Conference: KFOR Broadcasting Legends

Who she is: Anchor at KFOR

Biggest Strengths: Has kept "Oklahoma Discount Pantsuit Warehouse" in business for years.

Biggest Weaknesses: Her tiny frame makes Kevin Ogle look huge. What's that? He is?! Oh damn!



(4) Chuck Norris vs. (13) James Lankford


(4) Chuck Norris 

Conference: Worn Out Internet Memes; Old Ass Action Heroes

Who he is: Chuck Norris

Biggest Strengths: Is Chuck Norris

Biggest Weaknesses: Pees when he laughs.


James Lankford

Conference: Creepy Baritone Ginger Congressmen; Handsome Rocky Dennises; People Spencer Hicks Passes Himself Off As

Who He Is: The Arbuckles's Own Camp Caligula Leader; Congressman for Oklahoma's 5th District

Biggest Strengths: Is a congressman.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is a congressman.



(5) Mike Morgan vs. (12) Damon Lane

mike morgans bedazzled severe weather tie

Conference: KFOR Weather People We Don't Want To Date; Tie Model

Who He Is: KFOR Lead Meteorologist; David Payne jealousy sponge

Biggest Strengths: Figured out how to convey dire weather situations through neckwear choices.

Biggest Weaknesses: David Payne was the only one who knew how to make coffee the way Mike likes it.


damon lane koco

(12) Damon Lane

Conference: Rick Mitchell Shoe Fillers

Who He Is: KOCO Meteorologist.

Biggest Strengths: Has a sweet job on channel 5 doing weather.

Biggest Weaknesses: Isn't as accurate as Gary England, Mike Morgan, Emily Sutton, David Payne, Jed Castles, Mike Morgan's tie or my Uncle Javier's trick knee.



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