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Law and Order

Some guy has an interesting tattoo…

9:00 AM EDT on May 5, 2011

You know how Channel 4 will run that story every few weeks about some random old couple who paid a dude cash to cut down their trees and how the dude vanished and never completed the job.  Then the following night they air a follow-up about how some nice contractor watched the original story and went and finished the job for FREE.

Yeah...why can't they do favors for those of us who have real problems?   You know, those of us who get assaulted, left for dead and have the word "Rapest" tattooed to our forehead:

A mentally impaired Oklahoma City man was held down and shocked in the genitals with a stun gun April 17 while his attackers forcibly tattooed the word “RAPEST” on his forehead, police reported.

The attackers also forcibly tattooed “I like little boys” on the man's chest, police reported...

Johnson was taken to Eagle Lake in Del City after being tattooed, police said. There, his hands were taped together. He then was beaten in the arms and head with a baseball bat until he was unconscious, Del City police detective David Abel said.

Johnson stumbled bleeding to a nearby trailer park for help after waking up from the assault, police reported. “I walked … probably about a mile. I crawled and walked. I was, like, ‘I don't think I'll be able to survive,'” Johnson said.

He spent days in a hospital in intensive care.

In jail are four suspects, Richard Lynn Dellert, 31, of Irving, Texas; Zachary Chase Provence, 21, of Midwest City; Kimberly Sue Vergara, 25, of Midwest City; and Lorena Amanda Hodges, 33, of Oklahoma City. A judge has denied bail...

Johnson has covered up “RAPEST,” apparently a misspelling of “rapist,” with a tattoo resembling a bar code. His mother, Lucy Ford, said she intends to get her son's tattoos removed eventually...

One of the women claims Johnson tried to rape her, police and a prosecutor said.

“There was no evidence to support that,” said Suit, the Del City police spokesman. “But, even if there was, the proper action is to make a police report, not take matters into your own hands.”

Police and the victim's relatives say Johnson has a diminished mental capacity that existed before the beating.

Here' s the deal.  I don't want to get beat up in a couple of months and wake up in Del City with BLOGAR tattooed on my forehead, so I'm going to try to be respectful of the victim (and the alleged assailants) here.

That being said, some other thoughts and questions...

• Thank God for the victim that they weren't trying to spell "restaurant," "guarantee" or "definite."  Who knows how bad they would have messed up those words.

• When did Del City get a lake?

• What made him go with the bar code?  Was he watching the Thunder-Nuggets series and thinking "That Kenyon Martin has in interesting tattoo?"  Seriously, I would have just added an "O" and been Rapesto and just told everyone I was Italian.    Or I would have added a "B" and told everyone it was my favorite pasta dish at Night Trips.

• Watch the video.  The first question out of the mouth of Nolan Clay, who is apparently the Mike Wallace of Oklahoman reporters, is "Did the tattooing hurt."  I think his follow up questions were "Is the sky blue?" and "Do you like big hooters?"

• According to Clark Matthews, having your genitals tazed is both "pleasurable and watching the Thunder struggle against a half court trap when they're set up in a pick and roll yet Kevin Durant bails the team out with a three."  That Clark Matthews.  What a character.

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