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Clark Matthews presents…

This is a busy time of year for me.  My days consist of waking up well before dawn, going into work, coming home well after sundown, spending time with my child, then passing out so I can do the whole thing over the next day.  Sure, I would love to have time to churn out an installment The Justice League everyday, but until Emperor England is elevated to his rightful throne and adds two hours to the day, that just cannot happen.

To supplement my production, I got an idea.  While my son was emptying out the CD cabinet of our entertainment center so he could hear the jewel cases clatter against the ground, I noticed an album I had forgotten about long ago--Dr. Dre presents...The Aftermath.  Despite top billing, Dr. Dre really only performed on one song, the rest of the tracks were by artists Dre had recruited.  That's when it hit me:  There have to be other like minded people out there who want to do what we at TheLostOgle do, at least on a guest basis.  Lost-LostOgles, if you will.

So I began recruiting people I knew to write an article for this series, and while a few showed interest, none have actually followed through.  Then one day I am sitting at home when the phone rings and a lady from the "Make A Wish Foundation" is on the line.  After eviscerating her for calling me during a Scrubs re-run, I let her make the pitch.  A sick child by the name of Little Timmy (before you ask, Little is his given name) had made a request that he be able to write for this website.  I figured, "Hey, I might as well give him a shot," especially after the lady explained that Little was suffering from the awful stomach flu that has been going around and offering an autographed picture of Mike Turpin.

Anyway, after the jump you can see what Little Timmy submitted, and this is probably where I should request that you be kind in the comments section.  To me, that is, because I'm expecting a bunch of "might as well replace Clark with him" responses.  Enjoy.


NBA commissioner David Stern recently said the relocation of the Sonics to Oklahoma City is inevitable. The city of Seattle isn't happy about this. They want to keep the Sonics there until 2010 at which point their contract with Seattle is over. The city of Seattle even rejected an offer from the owners of the Sonics to buy out the remaining contract and also pay off the debt on the still unpaid bond for their arena, a debt that will remain even after the Sonics contract is up. Seems fair to me.

Perhaps paying off debt isn't what Seattle wants though. They need something more. I suggest we sweeten the deal by not only paying off their debt but also exporting some OKC "treasures" to Seattle.

First we'll start by allowing Seattle to misspell the names of popular clubs and bars in their entertainment district. We've got Rok Bar, Skky Bar, Drinkz and Tapwerks. Spell check be damned Bricktown business owners. You're welcome Seattle.

Let's send's Dave Morris. I'm sure there's a shortage of non-dynamic, teleprompter inept, pseudo reporters there. Besides, with a soon to be empty arena it will be a great place to store his ego.

Ditto for Jim Traber. I'm sure professional complainers are hard to come by in the northwest.

Finally, let's send Toby Keith. Seattle has yet to know the joys of having a superstar of his caliber grace their town with his presence. He could open up another subpar restaurant and bring about an increase in freedom bucks being spent in their town.

You're welcome Seattle


If you think you have something worthy of being presented by Clark Matthews, type it up and send it to thelostogle at gmail dot com.

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