The scriptures say, "judge not lest ye be judged." In a post late last week, I chided The Oklahoman for sitting on the most intriguing story of the OSU/Sam Houston State game. Now, it looks like I might be guilty of a similar sin. In a story so perfect for TheLostOgle.com that it might as well have been scripted by Tony, Blazers' hockey coach Doug Sauter literally stopped a stampede of horses with his teeth, and we haven't made a single mention of it two weeks after the fact. That changes now.
It should not have been a huge surprise. I mean, look at his picture. With a mustache like that, Sauter has to be either a super villain or a superhero in disguise. Mild mannered minor league hockey coach was just too much of a stretch.
Here's a brief synopsis of what happened:
Sauter, who trains clydesdales, was in attendance at a Draft Quarterhorse Show at the Centennial Expo Building during the State Fair.
A wagon being pulled by a team of horses overturned, injuring a 62 year old woman.
Chaos ensued, as the wagon driver attempted to control his horses.
The other horses at the show became antsy.
Sauter jumped to action by biting a Belgian horses ear, calming it and putting a kibosh on the stampede it was about to lead.
"That's how you stymie a horse," Sauter said afterwards. He probably uttered it in a "matter-of-fact" tone, but I prefer to think he said it more taunting way. More like, "THAT'S how you stymie a horse!" Followed by an insincere single, "Ha." I also picture him standing tall with his fists pushed firmly into his hips, staring to his left while the wind blows his whiskers behind him like a cape. (I may need therapy.)
Of course, this leaves us some interesting questions to ponder:
Who was the arch-nemesis who almost started the stampede?
Does anyone know Dean Blevins' whereabouts at the time?
Is Oklahoma City big enough for two superheroes?
Will he and Gary England begin an Oklahoman version of the Justice League?
Should Sauter be on hand for all Mike Gundy press conferences?
Does Mick Cornett have a red phone hidden beneath his desk that goes directly to Sauter's horse ranch?