Skip to Content
Politics

Question of the Day

4:36 AM EDT on August 23, 2007

VS.

Adrian Peterson, or as illiterates like his father call him, "A.D.", may have lots to worry about as he shifts from Sooner legend to NFL runningback. While the health of his ankles or shoulders, and the presence of homicidal linebackers like Ray Lewis will likely weigh heavily on his mind, one thing he can rest easily on is concern for attack from a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"Wait," you may be saying, "why would he be worried about that in the first place? The T-Rex--which is, by the way, a more fitting nickname than "A.D." for Adrian Peterson--has been extinct for millions of years. Plus, Tom Coburn says they never existed." To be honest, I would have to concede all of those points to you since I haven't tested any dinosaur bones for the presence of papier mache. That did not stop scientists from researching whether David Beckham would have been able to outrun one. For those who are interested, he's dino-meat.

Since most Oklahomans are like, "Beckham? Isn't he the douche married to a Spice Girl?" I felt it was time for me to put my scientific knowledge to a more useful endeavor...finding out if an athlete Oklahomans cared about could be in danger of a giant lizard attack.

Here are my calculations:

  • Adrian Peterson was timed running a 4.40 forty yard dash at the NFL Combine.
  • That comes out to a foot every 0.0367 seconds.
  • It would take Peterson 193.6 seconds to run a mile at that rate.
  • In an hour, at that rate, Peterson would travel 18.59 miles.

In a stroke of luck, the scientists determined that the T-Rex would have been able to move approximately 18 miles per hour. That would have put him or her a good half mile behind Peterson assuming they were in an hour long chase and both could keep up the pace.  He might be able to escape even with Daniel McLemore grasping at his ankles.

Based on calculations I would prefer to keep as proprietary, I determined that Patrick Nelson would be digested before the dinosaur worked up a sweat.

DISCLAIMER:  If you have any problem with my work, remember that I come from a state that allowed Jim Inhofe to chair the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. The fact that I have not included math in the Axis of Evil puts me ahead of the curve.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from The Lost Ogle

Everything Else

Swadley’s is hiring a Staff Accountant…

You may want to consult with a lawyer before applying.

December 5, 2022
OKC Media

Jason Hackett leaving KOCO Channel 5…

He's taking a job at KARE 11 in Minneapolis.

December 2, 2022
Everything Else

Top 10 TLO articles for November

We've somehow survived another month!

December 1, 2022
Everything Else

Ryan Walters’s new hair part goes super hard to the right…

An Ogle Mole spotted him out having a drink this past Monday afternoon.

December 1, 2022
See all posts