I love donuts. Always have, always will. But, for the past year, I have been in a yeast-filled rut about them.
You see, middle age has gifted me with certain new allergies to something in traditional donuts, sending me into sneezing fits that, at times, feel like an embolism might ignite in my head and make my brain explode into a ball of gray matter.
Ouch.
So, when I was told to go and try Oklahoma City’s vaunted vegan donut shop Holey Rollers, now in 30th St. Market, 407 NW 30th Street, of course I was more than excited… but, to be sure, very worried about a violent sneezing attack.
But what I was hoping for was a small glimmer into this problem, as Holey Rollers makes handcrafted vegan donuts (dairy- and egg-free), with many gluten-free options, which might help me make sense of all this. Please donut gods…help me!
I arrived in the Paseo around nine in the morning this past Saturday. While I usually don’t leave the house until noon, the bustling courtyard crowd of young parents, retired oldsters, and all the sweaty traffic from the local yoga studio brought me in and, of course, the baked goods made me stay.
Walking into 30th St. Market, I made a sharp left turn to Holey Rollers, off to the side of the place. It was a traditional donut shop setup, with the glass case full of wonders front and center, and as I looked over the luscious bevy of goodies on the racks, I fell in love... and so hard!
After another minute of sheer exhilaration and decision-making—and partaking of some of the donut holes on the counter that I think were samples—I had my want-list of donuts ready. For the most part, I got what I wanted, give or take a substitution or two—because as soon as they run out of a flavor in the case, they are out for that day. Go early.
Back around the corner at 30th St. Market's massive main counter, I rounded out my order with two non-vegan items: an iced Mocha Latte ($6.00) from the barista and some roughage in the form of a Croissant Sammie ($13.00). Made with egg, cheese and arugula on a pesto-covered croissant, it was wonderful, and I scarfed it down.
Everything else I got came from the Holey Rollers menu, starting with the classic Vegan Kolaches ($6.50). They were sold out of the Serrano Cheddar variety, so I made do with the basic one: a big, savory vegan smoked wiener and melty vegan cheese tucked into a sweet vegan roll.
One would never know the difference between this vegan kolache and a meat-filled one—that’s how good it is. The vegan sausage had so many spices it felt like a trip around the world. Do I detect curry? All you need is a big smear of mustard on the plate, because every bite is a real breakfast treat that also could be lunch or dinner. Fourth meal too.
But once that was out of the way, now I was down to sweet business. The first baked good was the gigantic Butter Pecan Fritter ($4.75) and, damn, that was something else entirely.
Instead of the usual fruit take on fritters, Holey Rollers’ fritter had a down-home buttery vibe, without the cloying sweetness that butter pecan flavor usually carries. It made me forget about all the non-vegan fritters I had previously eaten, opening up a whole new world for me and, really, baked goods in general.
Next up, I tried the similarly sticky—but wholly different, mind you—Maple Almond ($3.75) donut. Covered in a light frosting, the oblong maple-flavored dough is smattered with generous slivers of almonds.
Taking it out of the sleeve, I prepared myself for the stereotypical maple sweetness, fully ready to trounce it. But after one bite, then another and another, the restrained sweetness was a bombastic surprise that left me floored.
Have I been eating donuts wrong all my life?
For my last donut of the day, I had to pick up the very aroused Banana Split ($4.75). Sure, it was vegan, but with the chocolate, the banana cream, the dried banana slice and a cherry on top… surely this is a better show than a traditional donut made with eggs and dairy, right?
Forget all that is known about sugar, spices, chocolate, cream, everything—because the Banana Split isn’t just a perfect vegan donut, it’s a perfect donut, period. Every ingredient is exalted, elevated and eternal, making it the one true donut ring to rule them all.
And, even better, there was no allergic reaction to Holey Rollers.
I had to get a couple to go for my wife, my mother, and, probably, my dog. I must tell everyone about Holey Rollers and their gospel of vegan donuts... so much so that I'm making this my go-to spot when I crave them, which is going to be every Saturday morning at nine a.m.
Cómpralo ya!
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Follow Louis Fowler on Instagram at @louisfowler78.
