A few weeks back, I was poking around the Oklahoma news wire looking for something odd to write about and found this little gem from Lawton about a man attacking his roommate with a sword after an argument over dirty dishes.
There’s a fun little headline in there somewhere, right?
Via KSWO:
A Lawton man was arrested this week after police say he attacked another person with a sword…
According to court documents, on Aug. 21, he was seen chasing another man around and swinging a katana at his back. When police arrived, he reportedly threw down the sword and put his hands up.
Investigators say the incident stemmed from an argument over dishes.
Yikes! I think we can all admit we’ve wanted to go full Leonardo or Raphael on a roommate for leaving dirty dishes piled in the sink, but you can’t actually follow through with it?! You’re better off just doing the dishes yourself and making snide, passive-aggressive comments—or better yet, pulling equally petty revenge like eating their leftovers or sleeping with their girlfriend. That’s how productive roommate relationships are built!
Here’s the image KSWO used for their story:
As a sucker for sword fights, ninjas and open records, I thought it would be fun to see the body cam footage of the arrest. So, I asked Beth to reach out to Lawton PD and file an open records request.
A week or so later, we got some good news – the video footage was gathered up and ready. All we had to do was Bebop and Rocksteady our way down to Lawton and pay $175.
Listen, I don’t mind forking over some money for content or open records, but $175 for five DVDs of a Lawton sword fight over dirty dishes?! That’s more expensive than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Classic Series 23-Disc Set!
Sorry, but no thank you! Louis won’t even pay those prices for vintage Asian erotica, much less shaky footage of a guy chasing his roommate around a park with a sword named “Palmolive.” Can’t they just email me a highlight reel for $20 instead?
Anyway, since we’ll apparently never see the footage, I guess we won’t get to experience the finer details of the situation—like what type of sword was used, how the dude got his black eye, and whether Knuckles® was involved.
Cowa-bummer, dude.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised… unless it costs $175.
