In honor of President Trump being inaugurated today for a second, and hopefully-not-final, term as President of the blessed United States of America, TLO is proud to announce the ritualistic sacrifice of Louis Fowler at 3:00 PM at the OKC Cock Ring this afternoon.
Sponsored by Continental Resources, Marcum’s Nursery, and Switzer Lager, the ceremony will feature Trump Bible readings by Ryan Walters, an address from Paul Bondar, and the feeding of Louis’s fresh, still-beating heart to one of Joe Exotic’s old ligers.
Catering for the sacrifice will be provided by Bedlam BBQ and Dova's Patisserie & Café, while post-sacrificial entertainment includes musical performances by Super Freak (they pledge only to perform YMCA), Carol & The Hefnerettes, and TLO’s house band – Powerlines Down.