In honor of President Trump being inaugurated today for a second, and hopefully-not-final, term as President of the blessed United States of America, TLO is proud to announce the ritualistic sacrifice of Louis Fowler at 3:00 PM at the OKC Cock Ring this afternoon.
Sponsored by Continental Resources, Marcum’s Nursery, and Switzer Lager, the ceremony will feature Trump Bible readings by Ryan Walters, an address from Paul Bondar, and the feeding of Louis’s fresh, still-beating heart to one of Joe Exotic’s old ligers.
Catering for the sacrifice will be provided by Bedlam BBQ and Dova's Patisserie & Café, while post-sacrificial entertainment includes musical performances by Super Freak (they pledge only to perform YMCA), Carol & The Hefnerettes, and TLO’s house band – Powerlines Down.
It’s going to be a Make America Great Again time!
For our loyal and frequent readers, the news that we’re sacrificing Louis – and not simply sending him into hiding – may come as a surprise.
TLO has long been known for its politically incorrect, liberal-esque leanings that have ruffled the feathers of our state’s nuttiest right-wing blowhards (and wokiest socialist bike riders). We’ve also been frequent critics of his heaven-sent, golden-topped holiness, along with his associates, supporters, and insurrectionists.