Add a new name to the list of Derplahoman patriots who were arrested for trying to overthrow the United States government.
Last week, the FBI arrested Dova Winegeart – the owner of Dova's Patisserie & Café in the remote Derplahoma hamlet of Fairview – on a wide variety of charges, including the destruction of government property and disorderly conduct.
I have to admit, the photo evidence is pretty compelling:
Yeah, let this serve as a warning to any other red-coated traitors out there to wear less identifiable clothing – perhaps something that doesn't make you look like Stalin's old mistress – the next time you try to overthrow the government.