Here’s some not-so-surprising news to report – Oklahoma students are dumber than ever.
Last week, a report about Oklahoma students having some of the lowest average ACT scores in the country made the rounds on social media.
Here are details via KOCO:
According to the latest data from the ACT organization, Oklahoma students rank 49th in the nation for ACT scores, ahead of only Nevada. Oklahoma’s average ACT score is 17.6, compared to the national average of 19.4.
Nationally, test scores have been declining for years. In 2018, the national average was 20.8, but it has since dropped to 19.4. Oklahoma’s scores have also decreased, falling from 19.3 to 17.6.
Yep, not only are today’s kids dumb, but they’re somehow getting dumber. I guess it’s good to know we have a competent, functioning, and visionary State Superintendent of Public Instruction running the Department of Education to help turn things around, huh?
Okay, maybe not.
Naturally, social media users were quick to blame Kevin Stitt and Ryan Walters for the news. Although they definitely deserve credit for making Oklahoma a Top 10 State for Low Test Scores, this isn’t entirely their fault.
You see, Oklahoma is one of 10 states that requires all graduating students – even the dumb ones with parents who voted for Ryan Walters – to take the ACT. That means our state’s numbers are skewed:
Oklahoma uses the ACT as part of how we assess students, which is not the case in some other states," officials with the Oklahoma State Department of Education said in a statement. "Consequently, there is no true apples-to-apples comparison of these scores from state to state.
The largest teachers’ union in Oklahoma echoed that sentiment, noting that the state's score may be lower because it’s not just college-bound students taking the test.
Because we use the ACT as part of an accountability system, all juniors must take the test regardless of whether they’re college-bound or not," said Katherine Bishop. "This causes scores to be lower when compared to states that are only reporting scores of college-bound students.
If you ask me, excuses are for quitters, cowards, and the OU football coaching staff, but I guess that’s a fair point. Regardless of age, we have a lot of dumb people in our state and, as our teen pregnancy rate proves, they like producing children. Even if our state was home to the Midvale School for the Gifted, the socres are going to be low.
That being said, an excuse is still an excuse. Oklahoma can and should do better, and as a guy who scored a 24 on the ACT during my junior year – hey, ladies – I have some suggestions on how to improve Oklahoma’s ACT scores:
1. Abolish Public Education and put it in the hands of grifters, leeches, and other people from the private sector.
That’ll solve everything, right?
2. Allow Cheating.
I would never admit to cheating on a test, especially not during linguistics at UCO, but you’d be surprised how well it can boost grades.
3. Free WrestleMania tickets for anyone who scores higher than a 13.
At first, I thought we should incentivize students to score above a 20, but let’s not get too ambitious. If we can get the real dumb students – you know, like the ones who love professional wrestling – to improve by a point or two, it could really help our averages.
4. Give every student a Trump Bible as a study guide.
This would be a pretty smart and sneaky way for Ryan to sneak Bibles into every Oklahoma classroom. Plus, who needs algebra when you can just flip to Second Corinthians?
5. Switch to the SAT.
One thing that sucked about being an Oklahoma student staying in-state for college was that I never had to take the SAT, which meant I always felt left out when people made jokes about it. I can’t be the only one who feels that way, so let’s just abandon the ACT and do what most other states do: rely on the SAT.
6. Offer extra points for patriotic answers.
Can’t solve a math problem? Just scribble “USA! Freedom! USA!” in the margins for a few bonus points. Patriotism always adds up!
7. Stop requiring that students take the ACT!
Problem solved!
