While we all recover from a throbbing Memorial Day weekend hangover, I thought it would be fun to dust off the non-award-winning TLO Sex Toy Beat and let people know that the Patriciasmobile was spotted in Oklahoma City over the weekend.
The vehicle is basically a D.I.Y. version of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, only instead of making people think of tasty processed meats, it promotes OKC's chain of premier adult boutiques.
Here's a pic via the OKC Reddit of the truck making a special delivery to the Governor's Private Residence:
Remember back in the 1900s when KJ-103 or KRXO or 95x or whatever would drive their van around town, and – after playing a weird sound on the air – give the first listener to call in with the van's location a prize?
I’m not making that up, am I?
Kind of like Greg Zoobeck’s “Trim Your Bush” contest – a promo that encouraged listeners to mail in photos of freshly trimmed front yard shrubbery to win Bush concert tickets – it’s a real thing that happened, right?
Anyway, I think Patricia’s should do the same thing, but only use the TLO social media accounts to let people know when it’s time to search for this giant girthy truck plowing through the mean streets of OKC.
The first person to submit a pic would win a $100 Patricia’s gift card or lifetime TLO Subscription or something like that. Who says no, right?!
“Patrick, shouldn’t you be emailing Patricia’s marketing department these dumb ideas instead of bouncing them off your readers? Also, that’s not a Patriciasmobile. It’s just a truck hauling something weird in its bed.”
In all fairness, you’re probably right, angry Internet commenter who lives inside my head.
I should probably contact Patricia's about this stuff before sharing it with the masses.
Also, I guess that could be something else in the bed of the truck, like a perverted chiminea, an art installation for the Edmond Phallic Fun Park, or even a recreation of the giant sculpture Alex used to murder that old lady in A Clockwork Orange.
To help solve this mystery, I asked Chat GPT to help:
Yep, that’s right. It’s actually a sculpture of a giant ice cream cone secured with straps. Chat GPT knows this because of the shape, texture, and – most importantly – the swirl on the back.
Although I don’t think we need to worry about AI overlords putting us all out of work just yet, I guess that means this could be the Braumsmobile, too. See it today at your neighborhood Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy store!
Anyway, whether it belongs to Braum’s or Patricia’s or Clark Matthews, I guess if you see this vehicle rolling around town – especially if it’s in the vicinity of the mysterious Moore rainbow dildos – take a pic and send it our way.
In the meantime, stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
