Oklahoma schools are about to get a holy makeover.
As part of their righteous effort to force their preferred sect of the Christian religion down children’s throats, the Oklahoma House and Senate have been working hard this legislative session to send Governor Stitt a bill that will allow schools to hire religious chaplains to counsel students.
Although there are 5,154 churches dotted across the state that offer these services, lawmakers think it’s necessary because…
“We heard a lot of talk about a lot of those support staffs, people such as counselors, having shortages,” Rep. Kevin West, R-Moore, said. “I felt like this would be a good way to open that door to possibly get some help.”
Yep, that’s right. Okahoma lawmakers aren’t doing this to indoctrinate students or spread the Christian religion in schools – two things they've been trying to do since before statehood.
They’re doing this to address a shortage of school guidance counselors. I’m sure that will work out great…
“Hey Mr. Wilson. I'm really stressed about exams and choosing a career path. Do you have any advice?”
“Of course, my child. Let’s start with Proverbs 3:5-6. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’
“Yeah, but I’m an atheist.”
“HEATHEN!!!”
For the law to pass constitutional muster, it clarifies that chaplains can be from any faith or religion.
Naturally, that opened the door for attention seekers with the Satanic Temple – the non-satanic group that’s basically the P.E.T.A for religious freedom – to bait the local media into spreading a message to area grandmas, homeschool moms, and other culture war pearl-clutchers that if the law passes, evil Satanists will grab their black cloaks, devil horns, and goat heads and put their own chaplains in schools…
Once again, the Satanic Temple is a religious freedom activist organization that doesn’t endorse or follow any religion – much less worship the Christian version of Satan – but I guess you can’t blame the local media for not letting an inconvenient truth get in the way of a good headline.
Not only is pushing a satanic panic narrative bound to get more clicks and attention than a more factually accurate “Religious Freedom Advocacy Group To Put Chaplains In Schools,” but I think every non-believer can chuckle at the thought of this guy meandering around a public school providing advice to students at lunchtime…
That’s the Simpsons Comic Book Guy who held the infamous black mass at the Civic Center in 2016. It created a mini-Satanic panic in 2016, before disintegrating into the netherworld.
I guess wake me up when he’s sacrificing goats in the school courtyard for all the goth students, or better yet, some Pastafarian is teaching kids how to make spaghetti in the cafeteria, because until that happens, the only result of this law will be more Oklahoma kids having the Christian religion forced upon them – something that, once again, has been happened since before statehood.
Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.
