10 Other Weird, Paranoid Questions Ryan Langston-Walters Should Ask Job Applicants

Last week, KFOR Channel 4 reporter Kaylee Olivas shared a screenshot of some pre-screening interview questions that Ryan Langston-Walters is asking new job applicants and current employees seeking a promotion within the Oklahoma Department of Education.

Because Langston-Walters, like most authoritarian types, operates under of culture of intimidation, insecurity, and fear, the first couple of questions were semi-normal, but they quickly devolved into a paranoid political litmus test. 

Check this out:

Considering the point of a job interview is to avoid honesty and simply tell people what they want to hear, those would be tricky questions to answer.

For example, for question one, do you go with “I thrive in a professional environment where hard work is rewarded and accountability valued” or “I thrive in a dysfunctional, directionless hell-hole led by incompetent grifters and paranoid weirdos.” 

If you ask me, I think the pre-screening questions didn't go far enough. Here are 10 more they should ask wary applicants who are applying for a job in the Ryan Langston-Walters administration:

1. Will you eagerly help Superintendant Walters sabotage Oklahoma public schools and the State Department of Education from the inside?

That’s Walter’s ultimate goal, so they should probably get that question out of the way fast.

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2. What’s your favorite type of porn currently found in public school libraries, and are you okay with me emailing it to you?

I think the safe answer to this one would be “Gender Queer.” Ryan seems to have a hard-on for that one.

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3. Would you be comfortable using a drone to take out teacher union sleeper cells?

Remember, those terrorists (a.k.a. teachers) are the real enemy.

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4. Do you have any issues reporting to a boss who lives in Austin?

Remote work is still very popular, so I guess it’s totally normal and fine that the Oklahoma Department of Education is being run by Matt Langston – Ryan’s former campaign manager who lives in Austin, Texas. 

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5. You’re not Jewish, are you?

If so, don’t be surprised if Ryan asks how you operate the space lasers. 

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6. Will you provide the names of any friends or family members who need to attend Patriotic American History Reeducation Camp?

I’m sure he has a list of names somewhere. 

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7. Do you promise not to share any emails or documents with the infatuated press, including this one; which obviously doesn’t contain weird spacing   & punctuation-as part of a clandestine opera tion to capture  more agency leakers ?

Don’t fall for it!

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8. Do you have any experience not applying for federal grant funding?

This is probably the most important job skill they are looking for.

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9. What type of kitty litter do you prefer to use in the bathroom?

Ryan loves to spread the Kitty Litter in School Bathrooms hoax as a real thing, so you should throw them off and say you primarily use garden mulch. 

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10. Say, have you ever been to the Harbor Mountain Coffee Shop? If so, were you specifically there on August 12th, 2019 at 10:03pm and did you notice anything unusual?

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Anyway, those are just some of my ideas. If you apply for a job with the OSDE and see them in a pre-screening interview, send it our way so we can take credit. If you have your won ideas, leave a comment. 

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.