Earlier this week, an Oklahoma Little League baseball player warmed America's hearts and nearly lost his face in the process.
In case you missed it, Isaiah Jarvis – a little league star from Tulsa – took a pitch to the head as his team unsuccessfully tried to clinch a trip to the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA.
Isaiah was fine, but the pitcher who threw the wild pitch was obviously shaken by the incident. Instead of chasing the pitcher around the ballpark like Regular Jim Traber, Isaiah went out to the mound to console his opponent and give him a little pep talk. It's good-spirited Americana at its finest...
Naturally, the clips took off the in sappy sports fan echo chamber and then crossed over into the viral realm, being replayed on screens of all sizes everywhere.
Although the clip showed a rare side of our society that's actually admirable, some people out there like Brah-stool Sports head douchebag Dan Portnoy – literally one of the most annoying people on this planet – found a way to mock the kid.
Check this out:
I don't know if it's due to his hideous voice (perhaps), chronic shart face (probably), or the fact that he's richer and more successful than I'll ever be (yes), but I can't think of anyone else in this world who I would rather see choke on a piece of NY-style pizza than El Doucheadente.
Actually, I take that back. I forgot about Clay Travis.
Naturally, the algorithms loved El Stooliedoodie's tweet. It struck the perfect nerve – equally pissing off the social media sensitivity police while also pleasing the "Hey, let's go burn ants with a magnifying glass" crowd.
Portnoy, pleased with his contrarian attempt to get likes, hearts, and dopamine delights, followed it with this:
As a guy who's also made a professional career out of antagonizing and delighting people with sardonic wit and sarcasm, I can appreciate, on a basic level, what Portnoy's doing here.
He's playing the villain and embracing the opposite take for some attention, and doing it well. Although I personally try to avoid making fun of pre-pubescent boys for doing something noble and kind in today's vitrioloic day and age, I don't think anyone should be off-limits from a good-natured ribbing. To each their own!
Well, unless I disagree with them politically. Then all bets are off.
Stitt's Communications She-Troll Carly Atchison, taking a quick break from sticking it to Oklahoma public school students, played along and "liked" Portnoy's tweets. This upset one of the prominent tweeters in the local cool-kid media clique...
Come one, does one "like" really mean she endorses the take that the kid is dumb?
Actually, this is Carly we're talking about – an East coast elitist who excelled in the brutal sport of field hockey and spends most of her free time in the Nature is Metal subreddit. She's definitely the type who would look down on an Oklahoma kid whose only crime was being a good sport and kind person.
Anyway, we here at TLO would like to give a big "Attaboy!" to Isaiah. We hope the eats plenty of green M&Ms and hits lots of home runs over the rest of his little league playing career. If he plays his cards right, he can be the biggest Oklahoma child star since that dumb girl with all the puppets.