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Does Kevin Stitt have a free OnCue soda hookup?

10:16 AM EDT on April 27, 2022

Here at The Lost Ogle Worldwide Headquarters, we get a lot of local news tips and dispatches that we can't do a lot with because they're based on hearsay, lack verifiable details and photographic evidence, or I simply got too stoned and forgot about them.

This amusing tip I got from a State Employee the other day about Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt scoring a line-skipping FastPass and free soda hookup at the OnCue near the State Capitol kind of falls in the "lack of verifiable details and photographic evidence" category, but it's just too absurd, credible, and very believable not to share.

Here's the dispatch in its unedited entirety. Everything is [sic]:

Good Evening,

This afternoon I went to the OnCue off 23rd by Broadway for a icee and I saw Gov. Stitt, teen female & bodyguard (?) getting drinks as well. I got my drink then eyed the candy section. When I get in line Gov. Stitt's group walk out without paying. I asked the cashiers, four or so, if the Gov. Prepaid for his drinks. A young blond male cashier responded and said he was going to pay for the drinks.

This conversation happened as the Gov. was or has just left the store. The cashier did move from his behind the counter to what seemed to be in line with customers however I am unsure as I paid & left.

The ease of leaving without paying seemed to me as a gift that happens often.

I thought you could use this information.

Well, if we ever see a chain of OnCue's Foggy Bottom Gas Stations magically appear at our state parks, at least we'll know why!

Seriously, isn't that funny? Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt – a mega-millionaire who's banned from banking in Georgia – allegedly doesn't have to wait in line and pay for his soda pop at On-Cue like the rest of us plebes and commoners. And if some suspecting customer catches the grift in action, Stitt has a young blonde male cashier ready to wait in line and pay for it.

At least that's how I interpreted the dispatch. In fact, I'd bet you 1-lb of Swadley's Pork Butt that if our Ogle Mole didn't say something, the cashier never would have walked to the back of the line to pay for the Governor's pop, and it would have come out of OnCue's pocket instead.

For what it's worth, I'm actually okay with either scenario. If I'm ever elected Governor, you better believe that I wouldn't expect to wait in line or pay for soda at OnCue either. Hell, I'd probably even grab a Tornado roller for the road while I'm at it.

"But Patrick! That's wrong and could be an ethics violation. Politicians aren't supposed to accept free gifts."

First of all, it's just a soda. It's not a 30% management fee on a $100,000 over-priced smoker. Second, it looks like our grifter politicians found a way to get free drinks and coffee. From the Oklahoma Ethics Commission:

Okay, I have no clue if that provision applies to this case, but it does show I tried to do a little bit of research before publishing.

Anyway, I guess if you see Kevin Stitt skipping the line and not paying for his drinks at a gas station, take a pic or video and sent it our way. Just don't say anything out loud, or some young blonde cashier will have to go pay for it.

Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.

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