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Carol Hefner flames out like apartment fire in Holt mayoral triumph

5:05 AM EST on February 9, 2022

As we not-so-boldly predicted, incumbent OKC mayor David Holt – with the support and backing of his Who's-Who List of OKC Champions – ran away with yesterday's mayoral election, winning in a landslide with 59% of the votes. That means Oklahoma City is going to have four more years of social media selfies, Thunder tweets, and the general dodging of uncomfortable issues from the mayor's office.

The election never really felt close, but after the King's of Leon drummer endorsed Mayor McSelfie on Twitter, it was all but in the bag:

Hey, if the mayor of OKC named a street after TLO's house band – Powerlines Down – and then paid us six figures to perform a free concert in downtown OKC, I'd also be a big fan!

Although Holt's resounding election win is the important news from last night, the funny, hysterical, absolutely delicious takeaway is that Frank Urbanic – fresh off his appearance on The Lost Ogle Show – topped his former campaign endorsor and consultant Crazy Carol Herner in the race for second by a 20% to 13% margin.

Yep, that's right. The unhinged Islamaphobic Karen from Rose Creek finished 3rd in the election with only 8,285 votes. This is despite spending $225,000 – nearly double what Frank spent – in the last month or so on TV and radio ads, billboards, mailers, mailer typos, etc. That equates to $27.50 a vote, which even by wannabe oil overlord standards, seems expensive.

Although 8,285 OKC residents voting for this Trump socialite emu oil clown is still a bit unnerving, you'd think and hope that the absolute rejection by OKC voters of her racist values and authoritarian ideals would serve as a wake-up call for Carol (and her supporters) and send her to therapy.

Unfortunately, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Logic, reason, and critical thinking skills don't seem to be one of Carol's strong suits. Plus, not only is she a victim of the right-wing mass psychosis that's infected so many minds over the last 20 years, but she's also one of the parasites that help spread it.

In fact, you could probably argue that Carol being throttled by Holt and Urbanic will just cause her to dig in her designer high heels, become even more unhinged, and try to burn down the world like it's an apartment fire near Nichol's Hills:

Yep, I guess that also happened last night. The towering inferno captured all local media and social media attention and totally upstaged the mayoral election, turning the results into an absolute afterthought. For example, News 9 spent the entire 10pm news broadcast covering the blaze and didn't provide any update on the mayoral race until the last 10 seconds before they went to Stephen Colbert.

You know that had to piss off Mayor McSelfie. He probably had the DVR set for all news channels so he could watch their coverage of his victory speech. That being said, I bet Carol cheered and clapped for the fire like she did the insurrectionists who stormed the US capitol. First of all, it took focus and attention away from her slobber-knocker defeat to Holt. Second, deep down, she does seem like the type of woman who wants to see the world burn.

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