7 other people Stitt thinks would be “disgusted” by McGirt ruling…
10:05 AM EST on January 19, 2022
As we mentioned yesterday, Kevin Stitt recently said in a speech that Martin Luther King Jr. would be "disgusted" with the McGirt ruling, and definitely would have sided with him in his anti-Indigenous movement across Oklahoma.
Though I doubt that Stitt even believes racism truly exists, I’m still a bit amazed at the set of testicles on him to use that moment as a stump speech for his anti-McGirt manifesto, as he was obviously hoping to pit the various races against each other in a last-ditch effort to avoid losing Oklahoma in the upcoming election. Did it work?
And while people have spoken out against Stitt’s public tears, I’m more intrigued about the other historical figures that he will probably march out in upcoming weeks to help him—spiritually, at least, I’m sure—speak up against not only McGirt, but all Indigenous rights in general. People like…
1. Mahatma Gandhi
Shortly after learning that the Indigenous from Oklahoma and Indians from, well, India are two different groups of people, Stitt would reason that Gandhi was all in favor of a unified India and Pakistan, and as a result, would be "disgusted" by McGirt.
2. Woody Guthrie
“This land is your land!” Stitt will shout from his microphone, misinterpreting the lyrics to Guthrie’s 1940s tune written in response to the terrible “God Bless America,” telling white Oklahomans that this land is, quite literally, their land, stolen fair and square from the Indigenous people.
3. Mother Teresa
Stitt sees a lot of himself in Mother Theresa, despite the fact she was a demonic Catholic. Considering himself a true man of God determined to save the Godless Indians from themselves, Stitt hopes to help Native children by reopening religious boarding schools for Indigenous children, utilizing the same types of discipline-heavy school-learning that’s needed in quelling their recent behavior.
Contrary to popular belief, Stitt doesn’t think all Indigenous people are of below-average, low-class intelligence. For example, he’s fond of telling the story of Sequoyah and how he developed a written language to better help Natives in simple jobs like taking care of white children, preparing food for white families, and picking up the excrement of white dogs.
5. Will Rogers
Using out of context Will Rogers quotes like "If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" and "Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff," Stitt could make a compelling case that Rogers – a Cherokee citizen who was born in the Cherokee Nation – would definitely be in favor of repealing laws that gave his tribe more sovereignty.
6. Jesus Christ
Few men are as heartily religious as Stitt. In his numerous conversations with Jesus Christ, our Lord told him to act as a Savior to the Indigenous people of Oklahoma because, if they learn too much about this scary world, they will be cursed as all of their children, frybread, and food stamps will disappear. And, since it’s Jesus, you can’t dispute it.
7. Jimcy McGirt
“Them good-for-nothing Indians named their court ruling after a criminal...figures!” Stitt will tell his uneducated supporters with a chuckle, letting them know that, if they know an Indigenous person supporting this act, turn them in using a special 800-number and receive a coupon good for $1.00 off at Subway...Eat Fresh!