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Ready, Aim, Fire: Oklahoma’s Death Row Inmates Want a Firing Squad Alternative

Over the past few years, Oklahoma’s tried and true system of lethal injection for death row inmates has become so murderously dubious that someone has to be sexually getting off on it behind some heavy two-way glass in the back.

I mean, how else can people describe the continually botched ways that these recent executions have gone, mostly due to the painfully mixed chemicals. As a matter of fact, these executions have gotten so bad as of late that inmates are now asking for an alternative in their deaths: a return to the firing squad—yes, an actual firing squad—for their means of execution.

I guess when it comes down to the agony of your insides slowly killing you or a few well-aimed slugs instantaneously taking you out, the bullet seems like a better deal.

From KFOR:

An attorney for two Oklahoma death row inmates facing executions in the coming months offered firing squad as a less problematic alternative to the state’s three-drug lethal injection.

 Donald Grant and Gilbert Postelle are asking a federal judge to grant them a temporary delay to their upcoming executions...for the two inmates to be added to a lawsuit challenging Oklahoma’s three-drug method, they needed to select an alternative method.

You know, I recognize my allegedly communistic pro-life beliefs mean that I’m in the minority here; Oklahoma is an extremely pro-death state and there’s no way around that. Innocent or not, the convicted wrongdoers of death row must be executed with extreme prejudice!

If it’s a firing squad they want, what’s the harm—so to speak—in giving it to them?

Besides the cost-effectiveness of the whole thing—a mere few dollars for the bullets vs. who knows how much for those dangerous chemicals—think of the entertainment value! While I never could watch a man suffering to death due to lethal injection, I’m pretty sure could be swayed to attend a firing squad’s Christian duty, especially if they‘re selling snacks. Who's ready for a TLO Execution Chamber food review?

Of course, this whole thing might just be a ploy to gain more attention for Grant and Postelle’s upcoming executions; I think it just might work! After all, if there’s one thing that Oklahoma and its people love, it’s a legally sanctioned bloodbath.


Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.

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