In the 80s, it probably would have been investigated by the FBI, but as of this week, the creepy propaganda video released by Oklahoma Republican Party Chairman John Bennett where he rants about freedom while a gun sets on his desk has turned him into a cult icon for people that have no idea what that phrase even means.
To be fair though, the gun is more than likely a fake, as fraudulent as his beliefs. (Editor's Note: The gun is likely very real).
In his latest video though, Bennett has tripled down on the psychosis, switching to a copy of the Holy Bible on his desk, which, honestly, seems crazier than the gun, but not a scary as his rant on Covid, among other things. But it got me to thinking: what other right-wing props can Bennett use in his videos to win over his deranged fanbase in the upcoming election?
Here are a few ideas we came up with to make Oklahoma proud of our Republican contingency…
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1. A Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich!
While he wasn’t the party chairman during the height of the fast-food chicken joint’s political popularity, that doesn’t mean he can’t win a few pickle points by giving Chick-Fil-A’s famed chicken sandwich a cameo in one of his videos. Bonus points if he takes a bite and talks with his mouth full like a real Oklahoman! - Louis
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2. Confederate Figurine!
Honoring those traitors who fled the Union due to fears that an overreaching government would outlaw or regulate slavery will really connect will Oklahoma GOP voters! - Patrick
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3. A Bound and Gagged CDC Employee!
No politico in Oklahoma is going to tell us that Covid is a real disease, especially not from the paid hitmen at the Center for Disease Control. With a bound and gagged CDC employee on his desk, he can not only get his point across, but prove that this whole resurgence is a hoax as the crying employee begs for their life. - Louis
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4. James Lankford's Skull!
Sure, it may get the FBI's attention, but you have to think Bennett is already on their radar. Plus, it would make a strong point that RINOs, even the super conservative ones who ran a church camp, will not be tolerated in the new GOP. - Patrick
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5. A Gun/Bible Hybrid!
This one seems obvious to me – combining the two items that many Republicans pretend to believe in, mostly as a way to placate them to those backwards country folks. A Bible specially constructed out of firearms—or vice-versa—would be the best paperweight on his Mathis Brothers desk—but New Testament only, please. - Louis
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6. A 1988 Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z!
If there’s one thing that Oklahoma’s right-wing dudes love, it cool-looking muscle cars, often with semi-nude women draped over them. Using the car as an impromptu desk, all he has to do is strap on a pair of wraparound knock-off shades purchased at an area convenience store to properly get that Christian rock vibe that his fanbase sinfully covets. - Louis
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7. That will really impress Oklahoma Republican voters! Plus, the associated outrage will give Bennett what he want's more than anything – attention! - Patrick
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