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Satire

10 other emojis Stitt should sprinkle into his tweets!

9:10 AM EST on March 3, 2021

Last week, Governor Stitt sent the social justice crowd on Twitter into a tizzy when he tweeted a pair of eyeball emojis before announcing his two new female cabinet members.

Although we love to call Kevin out on his Bull Stitt, I'm okay with this. In fact, I don’t think our esteemed governor uses modern-day hieroglyphics enough! Here’s are 10 more emojis Stitt should sprinkle in his tweets!

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Based on his previous cabinet picks, we all know this is the real reaction his nominations elicit.

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Remember that 30 second “visit” Oklahoma ad late last year? One man’s “tourism campaign” is another man’s “state-sponsored propaganda that attempts to rationalize and encourage travel in the public eye a few weeks before the esteemed leader’s trip to New Mexico.” I am not sure if the two planes placed closely together are to encourage travel or show how quickly he returned home once TLO broke the story.

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This can be what he sends out to let local arts organizations know that he approves of their forced praise and adulation.

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Stitt is more than happy to announce his bright idea of overhauling the state’s Medicaid program to a privatized managed care system in the middle of a goddang global pandemic.

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Stitt has this bad boy saved in drafts for the day he finally figures out how to use the friggin speaker phone properly.

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This is the perfect emoji to tweet when announcing you are speaking at the Cattleman’s Congress. Side note: the cowboy hat fits the emoji better than it does our esteemed governor.

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He'll send this out whenever he needs to drum up help or support from his most loyal fans and followers.

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This could be used when he decides to tweet another misleading announcement about vaccination rates in Oklahoma. If he would’ve taken 2 minutes to read the Frontier’s report on state vaccination numbers, he would know that even though it sounds badass to save a million Okies are vaccinated, it’s not true. But by all the hoopla surrounding his emoji eyeball tweets, maybe adding the little shot emojis would have been enough to distract us all from calling him out.

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Imagine having to engage in conversations with the current president to ask for emergency support a few months after you supported a super-spreader party for the last one. Awkward.

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This emoji is perfect to announce another staged photo opportunity for the governor to show he can actually wear a mask. Side note: it’s also another example of an emoji wearing something better than our esteemed governor.

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Hayley uses one emoji and one emoji only. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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