With all the wacky shit that goes on at 4, 5, 9 and 25, you’d think they were taking drugs the commercial breaks. You know, someone off screen trying not to cough from an overzealous bong hit as someone takes a Xanax with their white wine while the weather person tells is it’s beautiful outside and we must stay at home. I really wish that I could access the OMMA patient list just so I could confirm my suspicions. So until an Ogle Mole informs me otherwise, here’s my list of OKC news people that I know are high on something, not life.
Kent Ogle
This guy looks like he just split a tray of indica brownies, washed it down with a keg stand and decided to read the news each morning. From the far off look in his eyes to the questionable jokes he tells on air, this wake n' beker has to be lit AF and loving every moment of it!
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Jim Gardner
Like a drunken driver who just won’t give up the keys, Jimmy sat in the pilots seat for over 30 years. Holy shit, why did we let this guy chase car chases and hover over fires for so long? When you get to be a certain age many people have got to take pills to feel ok only sometimes they don’t mix, like a Joe and Carole. Maybe that’s why he ended up following the wrong car?
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Regular Jim Traber
I swear, the shit that’s come out of this guys mouth, you’d have to be high on something to feel ok after saying it – "Tiger Woods will never win another major!", "Russell Westbrook is NOT a point guard", "Okay, now you take the shaving cream and rub it all over the outside of the glove..."
I prefer the cardboard version of him any day.
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David Payne
You know those people who need to get high to enjoy things? I think Dave has reached that point in his weather career. From misjudging smudges to his weird phrases, he just reminds me of a speed-using conspiracy theorist that is constantly drawing things that connect to other things that haven’t happened yet, but will. I think that's how weather dongs originated.
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Emily Sutton
This would explain why she uses Oreos to teach us the weather.
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Editor's Note: We put most of Uncle Skunk's marijuana content on The Happy Ogle, but today we made an exception.
