The guy pictured above is Oklahoma State Rep Jim Olsen. Like most evangelical Oklahoma Republicans, he's a churchy, tough-on-crime lawmaker from Sallisaw who apparently spends his afternoons thinking about topless women.
We know this thanks to this Facebook post that's been making the rounds in both the local left-wing and right-wing Oklahoma echo chambers. It reads like the world's saddest "I can't believe I'm writing this" Penthouse letter:
Wow. Can you believe it? An Oklahoma Republican is concerned with what women do with their bodies and thinks the "silly" ones should be thrown in jail for not abiding by his sanctimonious, double-standard-engulfed moral code. Next week, expect him to write a Facebook post demanding that any woman who wants to go topless in public get an invasive ultrasound of her nipples!
Thanks to Olsen's post and the attention-grabbing "Oklahoma Women Allowed to Go Topless" headlines that have been dominating the Internet, Attorney General Mike Hunter put down his bottle of Johnson & Co. opioids to issue this statement:
"The Tenth Circuit’s preliminary decision in the Fort Collins case – a case that has now ended without a full adjudication – does not change local and state laws in Oklahoma on the subject. The majority of courts around the country that have examined this issue have upheld traditional public decency and public nudity laws. These courts have recognized that states and political subdivisions have a legitimate interest in prohibiting public nudity as traditionally defined." – Attorney General Mike Hunter.
Hunter wasn't the only white male attorney to chime in on the court's decision. The local media interviewed Noble McIntyre of photogenic McIntyre Law, Peru flooding hero David Slane and probably even Ed Blau. They all warned that going topless in Oklahoma is still legal, but you know, could easily lead to 12-year-old girl walking around topless and perverted old men taking photos of them.
"This is a first amendment type case but when you allow men to go without a top and you don’t allow women, you get an equal protection issue and the law has to be equal,” said criminal defense attorney David Slane.
But Slane said this opens up a pandoras box of other legal problems.
“What if an 11-year-old child, or 12-year-old or 13-year-old teenager is out there, breasts open, and somebody takes a picture. Now you’re possessing child pornography. And that’s a felony in Oklahoma,” said Slane.
Really? Someone asks you about a court ruling that allows women to go topless in public, and your mind immediately goes to what will happen if you're caught photographing topless 12-year-old girls prancing through a clown head sprinkler? I know TV news likes to connect as many stories as they can to sex offenders in order to generate hysteria and ratings, but that seems like a slip too far down the slippery slope.
Naturally, having a bunch of old white men making public statements about what women shouldn't do with their bodies inspired some "silly" women out there to fight for their right to show boobs. In Tulsa, they held a topless rollerblading rally. News on 6 sent the one person on staff who has never seen a women topless to cover the event:
Geeze, poor Erick is going to have a lot to discuss with his therapist this week. Based on this screenshot from his report, you can't blame him:
Let's be honest. That photo depicts exactly what any normal person would expect to see at a topless rollerblade rally. You have topless women who no one really wants to see topless doing their thing, weirdo guys in sports bras out supporting them, and perverted middle-aged men taking photographs for their personal collection.
Tulsa isn't the only city to have a topless rally. Oklahoma City women are planning a topless scooter ride through downtown OKC on Saturday. If they're smart, they'll start the ride at the OKC Cock Ring and conclude it at Midtown Oktoberfest. It's being organized by a "silly" woman named Brandi Blaze:
We asked for State Rep Jim Olsen's reaction to the Topless Lime Scooter Cruise. He sent us the following photo:
I bet he attends the topless scotter cruise for "research purposes."
Anyway, I guess we'll continue to follow this story as long as it remains clickable. We actually discussed the federal court's ruling with the ACLU's Ryan Kiesel last month on The Lost Ogle Show before it was news:
Before it became local clickbait, we talked with the @ACLUOK's Ryan Kiesel (@capitolkiesel) about the federal court's ruling to let Oklahoma Women go topless in public. It's titillating conversation. Subscribe here: https://t.co/Enp92CypKp pic.twitter.com/9sFIRuYS0r
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) September 30, 2019
In the meantime, here are a few closing comments / questions:
- Does the federal court's ruling mean Oklahoma strippers no longer have to wear pasties?
- Should we organize a topless trivia night?
- Can we all agree that whether you're a man, woman or child, that allowing people to go bottomless in public isn't a good idea?
