Every once in a while, we like to cut out a slice of the cake that is the Craigslist Community, and serve you a multi-layer piece of the sugar rush that is the Missed Connections section.
As a preface, it's probably not a good idea to leave these, because the target of your affection will never, ever, ever see it, because the only people who look to Craigslist for love are the loneliest, and that beauty at the Wal*Mart probably has enough attention to not need to look at a weird, anonymous website. But who knows! If you've ever found Craigslist love that wasn't purely transactional (no judgement), let us know in the comments.
Although talking about 'plumbing issues' can be a way of talking about really dirty things, I feel like this guy legitimately is more interested in resolving pipe problems, and not, like, ugh.... you know where this metaphor is going.
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What is a sexy bike ride like? I've been on thousands of bike rides, and a few with lady friends when I was single. They would get cute, at the most. Like, it's a nice autumn evening and you're dressed like Wes Anderson characters and having a leisurely pedal through the hood. Never have I been party to a sexy ride, so either I did everything wrong or this guy just wants ladies to show up at his horse & cattle ranch and smoke weed and do sex things.
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This is a major way to never get someone's attention. Firstly, women wear yoga pants as regular apparel now, so there's a hundred thousand people in mind with this post. Secondly, it's clear that the person who posted this is excited about seeing a tightly-clothed hinder in person, and that's not a reason to raise the horn for the mating call.
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I wonder how many of these "business meetings" occurred in the YMCA steam room?
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Dude. Grab your owl, cast a courage spell, and then walk over the Cheesecake Factory and invite this girl to a game of Quidditch.
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Last week, I watched the Oliver Stone 'The Doors' movie for the first time, and wondered if Jim Morrison was as pretentious as he was portrayed by Val Kilmer, or somehow more. Now I believe that Morrison is still alive and living in Oklahoma City, writing very disturbing Missed Connections about people he wrote letters to and getting his eyes pecked out by crows.
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A woman alone at the movie theater is there to watch the movie, she doesn't remember the weirdo next to her. Although, now I'm curious what movie was sold out at 1:00pm at that Penn Square theater that y'all had to sit next to each other. And if you're reading this and thinking about the popcorn trick next time, just don't.
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Attention large breasted women who hang out at the Henry Hudson's on "Hefer" and Rockwell. Some dude watched you walk to the bathroom and wants to meet.
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This is absolutely the best use of Craigslist Missed Connections I've ever seen. It even reads like the other ones, but instead of releasing horniness, it's simply a person who needs the title for their van. There is hope for the future.
