Welcome back to the second week of Ogle Madness XI! We've got the second round of the East Region this morning, with the West following up later today. No upsets so far, which is a huge disappointment because I was really, really wanting the Silver Bullet to make it to the next round. There's always next year.
Here's who we've got next:
(1) Panhandling Teacher vs (8) Mick Cornett
(4) Weather Dongs vs (5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float
(3) Olivia Munn vs (6) Hipster Bicycle Woman
(2) Barbie Doll vs (7) Windmills
Vote down below:
(1) Panhandling Teacher
Round One: Defeated (16) Oklahoma Lawmakers 392-54
Who: Someone whose classroom doesn’t have school supplies
Biggest Strength: The only panhandler most people will tolerate
Biggest Weakness: Can’t afford a box of Crayolas
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(8) Mick Cornett
Round One: Defeated (9) Todd Lamb 403-74
Who: Outgoing OKC mayor / current gubernatorial candidate
Biggest Strength: Convincing Oklahomans to vote for large-scale infrastructure projects
Biggest Weakness: Only eats the “healthy” stuff at Taco Bell
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(4) Weather Dongs
Round One: Defeated (13) Kirk Humphreys 412-33
Who: Meteorological phenomenon of the phallic kind
Biggest Strength: Never not funny
Biggest Weakness: Can’t keep it up long enough
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(5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float
Round One: Defeated (12) Mary Fallin 404-38
Who: Unfortunately typefaced flier
Biggest Strength: Great idea for a Pornhub search query
Biggest Weakness: False advertising
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(6) Hipster Bicycle Woman
Round One: Defeated (11) James Lankford 305-94
Who: Person who got harassed by cop for riding her bike
Biggest Strength: Using driver’s license as a weapon
Biggest Weaknesses: Has problems with authority
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(3) Olivia Munn
Round One: Defeated (14) Silver Bullet 258-140
Who: Hollywood actress from Oklahoma City
Biggest Strength: Might actually have superpowers from being in more than one comic book action movies
Biggest Weaknesses: Is a cosplay nerd
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(7) Windmills
Round One: Defeated (10) Oil Overlords 306-92
Who: Massive turbines that cover the Oklahoma countryside
Biggest Strength: Provide clean and renewable energy
Biggest Weaknesses: They can’t do anything else, like cause earthquakes
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(2) Barbie Doll
Round One: Defeated (15) Travis Brauer 281-118
Who: Rapper from Moore
Biggest Strength: Wardrobe entirely consisting of vinyl
Biggest Weaknesses: Still hung-up on her high school days
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