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Ogle Madness XI: East Region, Second Round

9:51 AM EDT on March 19, 2018

Welcome back to the second week of Ogle Madness XI! We've got the second round of the East Region this morning, with the West following up later today. No upsets so far, which is a huge disappointment because I was really, really wanting the Silver Bullet to make it to the next round. There's always next year.

Here's who we've got next:

(1) Panhandling Teacher vs (8) Mick Cornett
(4) Weather Dongs vs (5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float
(3) Olivia Munn vs (6) Hipster Bicycle Woman
(2) Barbie Doll vs  (7) Windmills

Vote down below:

(1) Panhandling Teacher

Round One: Defeated (16) Oklahoma Lawmakers 392-54

Who: Someone whose classroom doesn’t have school supplies

Biggest Strength: The only panhandler most people will tolerate

Biggest Weakness: Can’t afford a box of Crayolas


(8) Mick Cornett 

Round One: Defeated (9) Todd Lamb 403-74

Who: Outgoing OKC mayor / current gubernatorial candidate

Biggest Strength: Convincing Oklahomans to vote for large-scale infrastructure projects

Biggest Weakness: Only eats the “healthy” stuff at Taco Bell



(4) Weather Dongs

Round One: Defeated (13) Kirk Humphreys 412-33

Who: Meteorological phenomenon of the phallic kind

Biggest Strength: Never not funny

Biggest Weakness: Can’t keep it up long enough

(5) Quail Creek Fuck and Float

Round One: Defeated (12) Mary Fallin 404-38

Who: Unfortunately typefaced flier

Biggest Strength: Great idea for a Pornhub search query

Biggest Weakness: False advertising


(6) Hipster Bicycle Woman

Round One: Defeated (11) James Lankford 305-94

Who: Person who got harassed by cop for riding her bike

Biggest Strength: Using driver’s license as a weapon

Biggest Weaknesses: Has problems with authority

(3) Olivia Munn

Round One: Defeated (14) Silver Bullet 258-140

Who: Hollywood actress from Oklahoma City

Biggest Strength: Might actually have superpowers from being in more than one comic book action movies

Biggest Weaknesses: Is a cosplay nerd



(7) Windmills

Round One: Defeated (10) Oil Overlords 306-92

Who: Massive turbines that cover the Oklahoma countryside

Biggest Strength: Provide clean and renewable energy

Biggest Weaknesses: They can’t do anything else, like cause earthquakes


(2) Barbie Doll

Round One: Defeated (15) Travis Brauer 281-118

Who: Rapper from Moore

Biggest Strength: Wardrobe entirely consisting of vinyl

Biggest Weaknesses: Still hung-up on her high school days


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