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Batman Fanboy Steals Telescope from Hobby Lobby…

2:20 PM EDT on August 9, 2017

It looks like a local thief is going to get a great view of the upcoming solar eclipse!*

Earlier this week, Oklahoma City police released surveillance footage of a Batman fanboy who confidently stole a telescope from a Hobby Lobby because America is awesome. As a homage to the campy Batman TV show of the 1960s, we're going to name the villain Telescopeus. He'll make a great Ogle Madness 13-seed next spring.

Here are the details of the crime via KOKH:

Police have released surveillance video of a man who stole a telescope from a metro store.

The Oklahoma City Police Department reports that on May 23 a man entered Hobby Lobby, 7012 Northwest Expressway, empty handed. Surveillance then shows the man go to the crafts section and place a telescope into his cart.

Wait a second. They moved telescopes to crafts? When did that happen? When I was a kid, they were located next to the binoculars and zoom lenses in the Peeping Tom section. I guess some hobbies are now frowned upon by society.

Employees stated the man then approached the counter and said he would like to exchange the telescope for a smaller model. The man then goes back to the crafts section and picks up a smaller item. The man told the cashier he would come back with his receipt for the big telescope from his car. He then left the store with the large telescope and doesn't come back.

The man reportedly attempted to return the telescope several hours later at the Hobby Lobby location at 6104 W. Reno.

Oddly enough, a friend and I pulled a very similar stunt at Hobby Lobby about 20 years ago or so. Thank God there weren't hi-tech surveillance cameras around back then, otherwise people would have made fun of us for stealing styrofoam balls and ant farms.

Anyway, if you know the true identity of Telescopeus, contact the police or Commissioner Gordon. They'll know what to do.

* Yeah, I know. It was a joke.

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