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Russia wants to monitor Oklahoma elections…


I guess we can add "Russian Invasion" to the list of potential disasters that can kill you in Oklahoma.

Yesterday, The Tulsa World and Associated Press reported that Russia has requested access to monitor and "study" the presidential election in Oklahoma. Apparently they want to observe first hand how voters in a democracy can elect such incompetent people to public office.

Via The Tulsa World:

Oklahoma has turned down a request from Russia to have personnel in the state to study the Nov. 8 election, Bryan Dean, Oklahoma State Election Board spokesman, said Thursday.

Louisiana and Texas received similar requests in an election in which the GOP nominee, Donald Trump, has said the election is rigged and others have alleged that he is in cahoots with Russia as it tries to influence the U.S. election in his favor.

Election officials across the country dispute Trump’s allegation that the election is rigged against him.

Keith Gaddie, chairman of the Political Science Department at the University of Oklahoma, said Russia is “trying to throw shade on our election process.”

I should probably throw this out there, but Yakov Smirnoff is performing tonight at Oklahoma City Community College. I thought it was odd that they didn't book Gallagher or Bobcat Goldthwait. I guess it all makes sense now.

In a letter to Oklahoma Secretary of State Chris Benge, Alexander K. Zakharov, Russian consul general in Houston, sought permission to have an officer from the Russian Federation study the state’s election process.

Benge, recently tapped to serve as Gov. Mary Fallin’s chief of staff, said state law prohibits anyone other than election officials and voters in or around the area where votes are being cast during elections.

“I hope that you are able to view the televised election process on Nov. 8, 2016, as citizens of the United States select the country’s next president,” Benge wrote. “It is truly an amazing system.”

Yeah, that's it. The US presidential election is an "amazing system," which is why we get such amazing presidential candidates like Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Joe Exotic.

Anyway, what's Russia's next move? Move their troops to Kamchatka, invade Alaska, British Columbia and then make its way down to either the Western or Eastern United States? That may be a little too risky. Another plan would be for Russia to arrange a marriage between Putin and Hipster Boo Boo. I doubt he'd have any problem with her moving a trailer into the Kremlin, and as a dowry, we could give him the panhandle. It's a win-win all around.

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