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Ogle Madness IX: Second Round, South Region

1:12 PM EDT on March 21, 2016

ogle madness iX bracket

We're now on to the next round in South Region of the OGLE MADNESS IX tournament! This bracket has some really intense news / weatherperson matches. Has Damon Lane grown powerful enough to usurp Emperor Gary? Can the sweet persona of Shelby Hays manage to triumph against Joleen Chaney? Do Oklahomans love Onion Burgers enough to take them to the next level? Only you, the readers, possess the answers to these burning questions.

(1) Gary England vs. (9) Damon Lane
(4) Weather Dongs vs. (5) Onion Burgers
(3) Baker Mayfield vs. (6) Sir John Michael
(2) Joleen Chaney vs. (7) Shelby Hays



(1) Gary England vs. (9) Damon Lane


(1) Gary England

Round One: Defeated Obesity

Who He Is: Exalted Weather Deity/reigning Ogle Madness champion

Biggest Strength: Controlling the wind and the thunder, keeping you advised

Biggest Weakness: X-ray vision has diminished in recent years

damon lane koco

(9) Damon Lane

Round One: Defeated Mike Morgan

Who He Is: KOCO meteorologist

Biggest Strength: Stays calm under pressure

Biggest Weakness: Stuck at Channel 5

(4) Weather Dongs vs. (5) Onion Burgers

weather dong finalist 1

(4) Weather Dongs

Round One: Defeated John Moreland

What They Are: Incidental phallic imagery during weather broadcasts

Biggest Strength: Can humiliate even the proudest weatherperson

Biggest Weakness: Fleeting


(5) Onion Burgers

Round One: Defeated Ten Commandments Monument

What They Are: Hamburgers with a mound of grilled onions

Biggest Strength: Can make a vegan reconsider their life choices

Biggest Weakness: Gives you awful breath

(3) Baker Mayfield vs. (6) Sir John Michael

baker mayfield

(3) Baker Mayfield

Round One: Defeated New Wayne Coyne

Who He Is: OU quarterback

Biggest Strength: Excellent headband game

Biggest Weakness: From Texas

Sir John Michael

(6) Sir John Michael

Round One: Defeated Wayne Payne

Who He Is: Wizard from the future who lives in a school bus

Biggest Strength: Smooth with the ladies, +1 with a staff

Biggest Weakness: Refuses to wear a shirt

(2) Joleen Chaney vs. (7) Shelby Hays

joleen chaney big watermelon

(2) Joleen Chaney

Round One: Defeated Lawton

Who She Is: News 9 reporter/Watermelon Queen

Biggest Strength: Can fit inside a watermelon

Biggest Weakness: Attracts wild Gallaghers

shelby hayes

(7) Shelby Hays

Round One: Defeated Kyle Singler

Who She Is: KOCO meteorologist

Biggest Strength: Cheap taste in clothes

Biggest Weakness:  See above

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