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Oklahoma politicians are now stealing our brilliant ideas…

11:04 AM EST on December 15, 2015


There's a new monument on its way to the State Capitol. This time it's not very controversial.


Weeks after a Ten Commandments monument was removed from its foundation at the Oklahoma Capitol under a court order, a bipartisan pair of state senators announced plans Monday to push for a display they hope will be much less controversial — the Bill of Rights.

Sen. Patrick Anderson, R-Enid, and Democratic Leader Sen. John Sparks, D-Norman, said they're partnering on a bill that would authorize a privately funded display on the Capitol grounds.

Holy shit, is this a joke? Instead of proposing that we build a controversial monument that displays an ancient list of religious laws written in secret by an omniscient deity atop a mountain, these lawmakers want to pay tribute to the first 10 amendments to our Constitution – the ones that help define, protect and guarantee our freedoms and liberties. That's a brilliant idea! In fact, it's such a brilliant idea that we suggested the very same thing over three years ago:

10 other monuments we should build at the State Capitol

1. Bill of Rights

I bet even Moses would agree the Bill of Rights has more relevance to our political process and democracy than a list of 10 ancient Jewish laws. It’s the Bill of Rights that guarantees people the right to worship what they want, say what they want, and own an assault weapon and shoot who they want. Seriously, can someone with $10,000 lying around make this happen? It makes almost too much sense.

In all fairness, I also suggested that we build monuments that honor the Laser Quest Players Code and show Han Solo encased in Carbonite, so maybe not every idea is a good one. Regardless, it's nice to see that our lawmakers read this site and are open to our ideas.

Naturally, the lawmakers and The Oklahoman gave us credit where credit is due:

The effort is part of a national push by the group My Bill of Rights to install such displays around the country. A $500,000 display already has been constructed in Arizona, and another $2 million project is planned for outside the Texas Supreme Court, said the group's Executive Director Chris Bliss.

"What better place to put the Bill of Rights than in front of the Supreme Court building," Bliss said.

A longtime standup comedian and renowned juggler, Bliss said he launched the initiative more than a decade ago after becoming distraught over how vitriolic he thought political discourse had become in the U.S.

"I was looking for a common-ground project," Bliss said.

Bliss plans to join Sparks and Anderson for a press conference in Oklahoma City on Tuesday, which is national Bill of Rights Day.

WTF?!? They're giving credit to an out-of-state juggler!? How insulting! I hope his unicycle gets a flat and he drops a torch on his foot. Once again, TLO is like the Rodney Dangerfield of Oklahoma media outlets. We don't get no respect!

Of course, that's to be expected. We've made fun of both of these lawmakers in the past. It's hard not to. Friendly reminder, this is Patrick Anderson of Enid. He's one of the bill's co-sponsors and kind of looks like the lovechild of Peter Griffin and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

patrick anderson oklahoma

Sen. Patrick Anderson loves the Bill of Rights. In fact, he's a such a big fan of those first 10 Commandments that he once introduced legislation that would have limited the public’s ability to challenge Oklahoma laws as unconstitutional, because nothing screams freedom like preventing people from using the courts to protect their constitutional liberties.

The other guy to sponsor the bill is Sen. John Sparks of Norman. He looks more like Hank than Peter Griffin, and more like Lothar of the Hill People than Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer:

john starks

John is an Oklahoma Democrat, which means his job is pointless and that in any other state he'd be considered a Republican. Need proof? In 2010, he proposed a law that would create a tax free weekend for gun purchases:

Gun enthusiasts may get the chance to buy guns a few times a year, without paying taxes.

Senator John Sparks (D-Norman) is proposing legislation for what he calls a "Second Amendment Weekend."

"It gives us an opportunity to show our support of our Second Amendment, and whenever we can support our Second Amendment rights we should take the opportunity to do so," Sparks said.

Yep, if there's one thing Oklahomans need it's the opportunity to show support for the second amendment... and not pay taxes on the semi-automatic weapons they may use for their mass shooting.

Anyway, even though both of these guys have introduced some idiotic legislation in the past, let's at least give them credit for either stealing an obscure local social blogger's (or juggler's) idea and doing something right. They should listen to us more often. The Ogle Influence is a powerful thing.

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