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Steve Shaw likes snakes…

amanda curtis

The girl above is Amanda Curtis. As the News 9 graphic shows above, she hates snakes. We know this thanks to Steve Shaw.

Via News 9:

A close encounter with a large black snake Saturday has a Norman couple thankful for the Norman police.

Amanda Curtis and Devin Valenta are recent OSU grads who just moved into a second-floor apartment off of Cardinal Creek Boulevard a week ago.

Curtis says about 10 p.m. Saturday, the couple were just a few steps from the front door of their apartment, when a six-foot-long black snake — that had wrapped itself around a wreath on their front door — lurched towards Curtis...

I'll be honest with you. I'm not sure what I'd do if there was a large black snake just hanging around my front door. Everything I know about snakes I learned from watching Snakes on a Plane and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Would I shoot the motherfucker with a .44 Magnum or simply scare it away with a torch? I don't know. My snake knowledge is limited. I grew up in the city. These people, on the other hand, are former OSU students. They eat tumbleweeds for breakfast and use words like "yonder." Plus, isn't Introduction to Animal Control a prerequisite 2000 level class in Stillwater? How did Amanda and Devin handle the situation?

Curtis says she called Norman Animal Control, but they were closed.

Three Norman Police officers arrived 20 minutes later.

One of them calmly picked up the snake by the neck, and placed it in a cardboard box—unharmed—before hauling it away.

She says that officer said “he grew up in the country, and is used to this type of thing.”

What type of thing was the officer used to? Handling snakes or helping pussies shoo away snakes? Who knows?

Also, know what's dumber than calling 911 about a non-venomous snake hanging around your front porch? Producing a news story about it. Of course, we shouldn't be surprised. This is a Steve Shaw report. We should have known he was a snake guy. I bet he owns a python with a stripper name like Gemini that he puts in a box and feeds baby chickens on his front lawn for all the neighborhood kids to see.

Whoa! Yikes! I just had a flashback to living on the southside as a kid. Sorry about that. I guess I know more about snakes than I thought.

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