Poor David Payne can't catch a break.
Actually, that's not entirely true. David is the chief meteorologist for KWTV News 9. That's the weather equivalent of being the manager for the New York Yankees, head coach of the Dallas Cowboys or head talent scout for Night Trips. It really is a dream job. Plus, he has a stable full of meteorologists, storm chasers, chopper pilots and HD Doppler Radars at his command whenever a dry line approaches. That's convenient if you're hungry and need carry out but don't want to drive in the rain.
All that being said, this spring has been kind of rough for David.
First, he was victimized by a rare and elusive shadow dong. The only other weatherman to survive one of those was Wayne Shattuck. He was never the same.
And if the shadow dong wasn't bad enough, now David is being fooled by imaginary tornadoes. Or as I like to call them, "Smudgenados."
Check out this video that someone posted to Instagram last week after another night of rain and severe weather hit the Sooner state:
First of all, I should point out the video was posted to Instagram by OU football recruiting guru Carey Murdock. It's good to know that Carey took a break from stalking athletic 17-year-old boys to stay weather aware and watch some severe weather porn.
I'm tempted to give the clip 5 stars, but since it's cut off at the end and we don't know how David Payne reacted to the camera smudge, I'm going to only give it 4 stars. Unless, of course, the video commits to OU. Then I'll bump it back up to 5.
Seriously, though, it is a shame we didn't get to see what happened next. Can you imagine if something like this happened to Mike Morgan? He probably would have called it a maxi-wedge "Disapearnado," declared his own tornado warning and ordered everyone to head south. Damon Lane would have initially said it looks like smudge, but then would have likely changed his tone and called it "Ghostnado" just to make his news director happy. Remember, being first is more important than being right.
