Hi all, welcome to Ogle Madness!
So, we decided that with the NCAA tournament starting up next week, this would be a nice and quiet week and that it would be a good time to start Ogle Madness. And then some colossal pieces of absolute human garbage in Norman ruined all that, sending everyone in this state into a frenzy and leaving no one to care about our little celebrity contest.
But we're nothing if not persistent, so today we tip off, rich racist pricks be damned. Here are today's play-in games...
• Rit Mathis vs. Scott from Scott's Motor Cars
• KFOR Social Media Bandit vs. Richard ViralNovaBuzzfeedHall
• Discriminated White Girl From Ada vs. Katie from Edmond
• Mary Fallin's Okie vs. Emily Sutton's Okie
If you haven't seen the bracket yet, be sure to check it out here. Now go vote...
Rit Mathis vs. Scott from Scott's Motor Cars (winner plays Emily Sutton)
Rit Mathis
Who he is: What are you looking for? Can I help you find it? What about this one? Where are you going? Why are you running away?
Strengths: Has mostly banished the children and dogs from the commercials, once and for all.
Weaknesses: Actually lives in California, the traitor.
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Scott from Scott's Motor Cars
Who He Is: Frightening Pitchman. Seriously, just watch his commercial.
Strengths: Has that sort of baffling self-confidence you typically only see from drunk people and Guy Fieri.
Weaknesses: Not nearly as badass as Marco Palumbo.
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KFOR Social Media Bandit vs. Richard ViralNovaBuzzfeedHall (winner plays Kevin Durant)
KFOR Social Media Bandit
Who they are: The Twitter account of your mom's favorite local news station
Strengths: Ability to make even the most banal stories sound interesting in 140 characters.
Weaknesses: You've already read all those stories on Twitter.
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Richard ViralNovaBuzzfeeHall
Who he is: 1 NewsOK Blogger Whose Work You Just Don't Want To Miss!
Strengths: Because of his legendary piece "5 things that taste better than Norman water," we know that he's at least capable of counting to five.
Weaknesses: Doesn't know how to communicate in ways that aren't listicles.
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Discriminated White Girl From Ada vs. Katie from Edmond (winner plays Joleen Chaney)
Discriminated White Girl From Ada
Who she is: South Central Oklahoma's pre-eminent online defender of white people
Strengths: Actually has lots of allies in this state.
Weaknesses: "As a white female from Oklahoma, summer is actually one of my least favorite seasons because I’m white... Almost every day I get made fun of about how white I am & people even say things like “if you were tanner you would be prettier” or “if you would tan your white legs would be so distracting”.
:( :( :(
Katie from Edmond
Who she is: Someone very unhappy people would make fun of her hometown.
Strengths: The controversy she inspired got me and Marisa banned from writing about Edmond on TLO for six months.
Weaknesses: Can't keep herself from commenting on the internet.
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Mary Fallin's Okie vs. Emily Sutton's Okie (winner plays Lacey Swope)
Mary Fallin's Okie
Who he is: The cool member of the Fallin family
Strengths: That's a good boy. You're such a good boy. You've never worn an Indian headdress in public. Yes, you're such a good doggy.
Weaknesses: We all know it would be way better if he had been named Trooper.
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Emily Sutton's Okie
Who he is: The member of Emily Sutton's family that we're not all jealous of
Strengths: Can totally take Channel 9's weather-dog in a dog forecasting contest, which is a thing I just invented in my head.
Weaknesses: A really bad combover.
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Thanks for voting, and be sure to come back next Monday as the match ups begin in earnest!
