As I mentioned last week, the local TV news media loves nothing more than a good manufactured school controversy involving concerned, angry parents. Not only do these stories drum up fear which lead to ratings, but they also give an Ogle brother something fun to tease while mom's watch NCIS or the Voice.
"Are dead sexual predators high on synthetic marijuana haunting local elementary schools? Tonight at 10:00."
This week's shocking school controversy was brought to us by KFOR Channel 4. Apparently, parents are upset that Edmond Santa Fe biology teachers had students address and face one of life's most difficult questions: what would you do if you (or your wife) was pregnant with a dwarf?
A local biology teacher’s multiple choice question about abortion is upsetting students’ parents.Edmond Santa Fe High School officials confirmed Tuesday several biology teachers at the school gave their students a “non graded exercise” – a discussion starter – on human genetic disorders.“You’ve found out that the child you (or your wife) carries has the gene for dwarfism. A new therapy exists that may repair this gene before the child is born. What do you do?” the first question on the exercise asks.A. Allow the child to be born with the gene, and we will accept the child as is.B. Attempt the new therapy to repair the gene.C. Terminate Pregnancy.
Geeze, no wonder Edmond parents are upset. The teachers left off the correct and most obvious answer: "Have more fucking dwarves!"
Who wouldn't choose that? If I can guarantee my kids would be dwarves, I'd have at least seven of them, my own mining company in the Arbuckle Mountain, and a TLC reality show about it. I'd be rich.
Dwarf abortions wasn't the only strange topic on the quiz. Check out the other ones:
Dwarf abortions? Elephant tomatoes? Cloning dead dogs? Do they teach biology at Edmond Santa Fe or simply pull shit from the Book of Questions? Maybe the teachers are smoking too much of that synthetic marijuana. Expect KFOR to have a report on that tonight at 10.