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Some asshole mosquito has West Nile and probably wants to bite you…

10:12 AM EDT on August 28, 2014

annoying-mosquito_o_1082158

There are a lot of things out there that can kill you. Examples include lightning, lupus and listening to Jack and Ron each morning.

According to the local media, the thing that's probably going to kill you this week is the West Nile Virus. Even though no confirmed human cases have been reported in Oklahoma City – a metropolis with over 1.3 million million people – researchers found one asshole mosquito flying around town carrying the virus.

Cue alarm and panic.

Via NewsOK.com:

Public health officials have found West Nile virus present in mosquitoes in Oklahoma County.

During routine testing, an Oklahoma City-County Health Department public health specialist confirmed one case of West Nile virus present in the mosquito population in Oklahoma County.

Overall, there have only been two confirmed cases statewide, one resident in Tulsa County and another person in Major County.

Well, I guess that's scary. It seems like mosquitos are everywhere this year. How do we prevent them from killing us?

Waite Colbaugh, mosquito program specialist in Oklahoma County, said residents should take extra precaution against the mosquito-borne illness by avoiding mosquito bites and reducing habitats where mosquitoes live and breed.

Four D’s prevent spread

Colbaugh said he recommends practicing the four D’s to minimize mosquito bites:

1. Dusk to dawn: Mosquitoes that carry the virus are most active during these hours, so if you must go outside always take precautions.

2. Dress: Wear long sleeves with cuffs and long pants wherever mosquitoes are likely to be biting. Tuck your pants into your socks.

3. DEET: Use an insect repellant containing DEET on any exposed skin.

Let me get this straight, we've only had two West Nile cases confirmed in the entire state, and some dude name Waite Colbaugh wants me to walk around in the August heat wearing long sleeves with cuffs and my jeans tucked into my socks? Uhm, no thanks. I appreciate the concern, but I'd rather take the .00001031% chance that a mosquito bite kills me rather than dying of heat stroke because I had to flee a pack of neighborhood bullies.

Even though the odds of getting West Nile right now are close to zero, it didn't stop the local TV news media from spreading some fear. You know they love that. The highlight of their coverage was seeing which stock mosquito photos the local Social Media Bandits used for their stories.

Channel 5 went the puddle of water route:

mosq 1

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Channel 9 went with the stock photo of a mosquito taking a shit on a marble floor:

mosq 2

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The KFOR Social Media Bandit went with a pic of mosquito digging for a snack in Lance West's ear:

mosq

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And Channel 25 went with the super close up of a mosquito on a finger. They even asked a brainless Social Media Bandit question:

mosq 3

Does this change any of your Labor Day plans??? If so, you either live in a bubble and know who invaded Spain in the 8th century, or you're a fucking moron.

Some people even took time to answer the third grader who runs the KOKH Facebook Page:

mosq 4
mosq 5
mosq 6

Anyway, I guess be careful out there over Labor Day, Moles. Remember to wear long sleeves and stay away from Jack and Ron.

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