Oklahoma likes distinctively bad music…
8:30 AM EST on February 27, 2014
Yesterday, the following map went viral on the internet. It shows the most "distinctive" artist from each US state. It has some strong Oklahoma ties:
First of all, notice how I used the word "distinctive" instead of "favorite" or "best" or "most popular" when describing the map? That's because there's a difference. The map doesn't show your state's favorite act, it simply reflects what band, performer or country douche bag people in your state listen to more than people in other states.
As Mother Jones noted yesterday, this detail was lost on a majority of the content starved, pageview desperate websites out there. Most, including our very own KFOR, went with the incorrect "THIS IS THE FAVORITE BAND IN YOUR STATE CLICK HERE" angle. Check out what the KFOR Social Media Bandit had to say:
Study: Oklahoma’s favorite band is… favorite artists for each of 50 states
What is your favorite band? Think it is the most loved band in the whole state?
Well now you can find out thanks to a study from The Echo Nest, a major music firm.
Paul Lamere, the director of developer platform for The Echo Nest, tallied the number of streams for a given artist in all 50 states for his music clients’ listeners, according to Business Insider.
He found which artist each state supported the most.
It should be noted that KFOR's Facebook post on the story received 322 likes, 174 comments and 70 shares. Why try to get a story right if it doesn't matter?
Anyway, let's get back to the actual map. I guess some guy named Jason Aldean is the most distinctive artist in Oklahoma. Since I have an IQ above 100, enjoy good music and have never had sex in a Wal-Mart bathroom, I can proudly say I can't name one of his songs.
Well, at least I couldn't. For fun, I typed his name in You Tube. The first song that caught my eye was called "Big Green Tractor." Here's the song and some of the lyrics.
She had a shiny little Beemer with the rag top down
Sittin' in the drive but she wouldn't get out
The dogs were all barkin' and waggin' around
And I just laughed and said y'all get in
She had on a new dress and she curled her hair
She was looking too good not to go somewhere
Said "what you want to do, baby, I don't care
We can go to the show, we can stay out here"
And I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor
We can go slow or make it go faster
Down through the woods and out to the pasture
'Long as I'm with you it really don't matter
Climb up in my lap and drive if you want to
Girl, you know you got me to hold on to
We can go to town, but baby if you'd rather
I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor
If the song was performed by the Jolly Green Giant, it really wouldn't be that bad. Hell, it would be kind of funny. But it's not. Instead, it sounds like every other buzzkill country song out there that some asshole punched into the jukebox at a Henry Hudson's.
Anyway, having this guy as our most distinctive musical act is embarrassing. I'm sure News 9's Amanda Taylor already put a call in to interview him for her next sweeps story. But...it could be worse. Check out South Dakota's favorite, errr, most distinctive artist:
Hey South Dakota, I wouldn't be opposed to trading Hinder for, uhm, uhhh, a green tractor? I don't know. You can just have them. They'll play at your liquor stores for free.