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This News 9 story about women’s self defense classes is unintentionally funny…

11:31 AM EST on February 13, 2014


Last night, News 9's Adrianna Iwasinski took a break from being a low-level reality TV star to file a special report on self-defense classes being taught in Norman. It may be the most unintentionally funny report News 9 has aired since the Dollar General store manager beat a thief over the head with an aluminum baseball bat.

The News 9 transcript helps set everything up:

Every year, hundreds of women in Oklahoma are hurt by strangers or even by someone they know or love. Some of these women are even killed in those violent attacks.

But now a local police officer down in Norman is teaching women how to fight back. The course he teaches is called "My Body, My Life" and is taught once a month at Norman Regional Hospital. The purpose of the class is to teach women how to empower themselves. It turns out their voice may be their greatest weapon.

The women who take the course can be seen screaming and flailing, but they are not throwing a tantrum. They are actually learning what to do should someone try to attack them or kidnap them in a public place. It's called the flop, and it could just save your life...

Real quick, is the mansplaining of violence against women really necessary? Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind when I see a woman screaming and flailing on the ground while attempting to kick an attacker is that she's throwing a "tantrum." She probably just missed her soaps, broke a nail or didn't get to pick out her movie on Netflix.

Anyway, the demeaning nature of the transcript is overshadowed by the sights and sounds of the video. It's unintentionally hysterical. Instead of using "tantrum," Adrianna could have gone with "exorcism," "bad trip," "mental hospital," "nervous breakdown," "meth," "primal scream therapy," "Serge Ibaka nude" and/or "lady who made that strange sound at old OKC Hornets games when other teams shot free throws."

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Kind of like the choking scene in "What About Bob," that clip shouldn't be funny, but man, it was pretty funny. My favorite parts are:

mask lady

The lady wearing a bandana over her mouth

Who knows, maybe it was part of a role playing thing, or maybe she was just preparing for a date with Brent Skarky.


choke hold1
chokehold 2

The guy demonstrating his kill move on his daughter.

Yeah, let's pour a little out for the homie who has to take that girl out on her first date.


this lady

The painful screams

If you want to flip out your dog or co-worker, play the clip with the volume turned up all the way. They'll attack your monitor. Trust me.

Also, look at Adrianna in the background. You can tell the whole scene is bringing back bad memories from Whodunnit.


the flop

The Flop

Instead of the flop, they should have renamed this defense move "The Dying Roach," "Finding Jesus at a Super Church" or "Listening to Jim Traber on the Radio." They're much more accurate.


All joking aside, violence against women is a serious topic and it's very good they offer these classes. As the news media constantly reminds us, it's a dangerous world out there and you can never be too prepared. Hopefully, they never have to use these techniques to fend off an attacker and / or throw a tantrum. Both would be awful.

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