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ICYMI

This robber has never watched Forensic Files…

10:17 AM EDT on October 3, 2013

Charles-Marqull-Williams

The turd pictured above is Charles Williams. Known on the street as "Mr. Hanky," he's a criminal mastermind with very bad bathroom etiquette. He's also apparently never watched an episode of Forensic Files or CSI.

From NewsOK.com:

A man accused of stealing some items from a home was charged with burglary based on what he left behind.

Charles Marqull Williams, 20, was charged Wednesday with first-degree burglary in Oklahoma County District Court.

On Jan. 23, 2012, a burglary was reported at 1509 SE 47 Place. The burglar apparently relieved himself in a toilet, leaving behind unflushed feces and a used piece of toilet paper on the floor, according to the probable cause affidavit.

A DNA test on the toilet paper matched Williams, the affidavit states.

Williams was convicted previously of second-degree burglary, concealing stolen property and possession of a controlled dangerous substance, records show.

Hey, when you got to go, you got to go. Unless, of course, you're at work. Then you should probably hold it in until you get home. Why else do you think people drive so aggressively during rush hour?

Anyway, Mr. Hanky up there is an asshole. If you're going to drop a deuce after robbing someone's house, at least have the decency to flush the toilet. Don't do double damage. Did he think he was at Wal-Mart or something? I'll bet you a bag of Charmin that he didn't wash his hands.

We've acquired a photo of the crime scene through the Ogle Mole Network. It's pretty disgusting:

ryantate

My bad. I occasionally get Fox News "financial expert" and Tate Publishing CEO/asshole Ryan Tate confused with used toilet paper and an unflushed toilet. Many apologies.

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