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Law and Order

Some guy dressed up like a hipster and robbed a bank…

10:00 AM EDT on July 16, 2013

hipster bank robber

The FBI is asking for help in identifying the hipster wannabe bank robber above. He hit the Bank of Oklahoma branch on N. May Ave. yesterday morning before it was cool. He was last seen eating grilled cheese sandwiches at the Mule in the Plaza District.

From KFOR:

FBI hunts OKC bearded bank bandit

FBI officials are looking for a man who was wearing a strange disguise while robbing a bank in Oklahoma City on Monday morning.

Authorities are looking for a man who robbed the Bank of Oklahoma branch, along N. May Ave., around 9 a.m.

The suspect is described as a black man, in his late 20s to mid-30s.

He stands about 6-feet tall and has a heavy build.

The man was last seen carrying a black backpack and wearing a fake beard, straw hat and sunglasses.

The suspect also showed the teller a semi-automatic pistol prior to leaving the bank.

He was spotted leaving the bank on foot, heading east through the bank’s parking lot.

Fortunately, no one was injured.

The Oklahoma Banker’s Association is offering a $2,000 reward for information leading to an arrest.

Say what you want about KFOR's news reporting, at least their stories are semi-colorful. My only concern is that they seem to rely a little too much on the word "bandit." It's their version of my "seriously" or "anyway." In addition to the bearded bank bandit, we've had:

bucket list bandit

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bingo bandit

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smash and grab bandit

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bicycle bandit

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blow up dol bandit

Okay, Channel 4. It's time to find a new word. I looked up "Bandit" in the thesaurus. I'd suggest "Hooligan," "Ruffian" or just stick with "Bandit."

Anyway, I guess if you see a chubby black dude wearing a fake beard and straw hat while playing a P.M. Dawn song on a ukulele, call the police or get his autograph. Seriously, I know it's a dated reference and everything, but he looks like the dude from P.M. Dawn, right?

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