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Law and Order

This photo belongs with Darth Tulsan in the Tulsa Mug Shot Hall of Fame…

8:30 AM EDT on March 26, 2013

Maybe it's due to the 100 megapixel camera, the unusual angle, or the way people gaze off into the distance like they're watching someone back into their car, but Tulsa County always seems to produce some great mug shots. Recently we met this doll:

And who could forget Darth Tulsan:

Well, meet the newest Tulsa mug shot star:

funny tulsa mug shot

Don't worry you guys, Melissa Joan Hart didn't get drugged, and no one's trying to strangle the girl from Taken. This is April Brady, and she just got super wasted and fell out of a parked car last weekend.

From News On 6:

TULSA, Oklahoma - A 27-year-old Tulsa woman was arrested after reportedly falling out of a van in front of a Tulsa police officer. April Brady is in Tulsa County Jail for public intoxication and assault and battery on a police officer.

The arresting officer said he'd just left the jail at about 2 a.m. when he came upon a white van pulled over in the westbound lane of West Archer Street at about the 400 block. He saw Brady fall out of the passenger side and begin rolling on the ground.

When the officer went to check on her, she was up "staggering around," with bloodshot eyes and a strong odor of alcohol on her person, according to the arrest report.

"Her boyfriend said she was 'trashed,'" the officer said.

As Brady was taken into custody, she cursed at the officer and kicked him in the leg. April Brady is being held on a $450 bond.

Sure, we've all had our off nights, but this is almost impressive. I've seen beanbags with more anatomic control than this lady. I mean, how certain are we that she wasn't roofied? I imagine this is what I looked like right before they removed my wisdom teeth. I think most coma patients have more spatial awareness than this poor girl.

I know this is a stretch, but I will say congrats to her and her boyfriend for at least uh...attempting a fun night on the town. I know this is a pretty typical twenty-something growing pain, but I have a bit of a love/hate with all of my friends in serious relationships. Yeah it's cool that they're happy, and I'm pretty jealous they found someone to snuggle and watch Netflix with. I'm sure one day, I too will want to go to farmer's markets and play board games with other blissful couples. But with each passing week, my once very large social circle of fun "woo" girls shrinks more and more (and yes, that was a HIMYM reference). Attention all couples! There's no law forcing you to go home by 11:30, or only wear drawstring pants. Having a significant other doesn't automatically excuse you from happy hours or trivia teams or birthday parties or exercising. I'm definitely not against settling down one day, but I am wholeheartedly against acting like you've retired before you even have children.

Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock

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