Tuesday afternoon and your company still doesn't know you spend most of your time online looking at Facebook, reading The Lost Ogle and pleasuring yourself to the Chive. Good for you, American employee. Good for you.
Here are today's battles:
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (8) Thunder Girls
(12) Lucy Sparkles vs. (13) Vanity Perkins (We're going to have a Cinderella in the Sweet 16)
(3) Bibi Jones vs. (6) Tiffany Tatro
(2) Kristin Chenoweth vs. (10) Dean Blevins
So spend your lunch hour wisely and vote.
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (8) Thunder Girls
(1) Kevin Durant
Conference: Oklahoma City Thunder Superstars
Who He Is: Forward for the OKC Thunder; One of the biggest names in the NBA.
Biggest Strengths: Is to basketball what The Lost Ogle is to Obscure Local Social Blogs.
Biggest Weaknesses: Thunderstruck is to movies as The Lost Ogle is to Ryan Tate’s ego.
Last Game: Defeated (16) Louis CK Bombing Jokes 490-41
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(8) Thunder Girls
Conference: Dancing Hot Girls From The NBA
Who they are: Giggly Hot Girls Who Probably Don’t Want to take a Picture With You
Biggest Strengths: Their awesome personalities. I’m kidding. It’s their assets *wink*.
Biggest Weaknesses: You don’t get one with the price of a season ticket.
Last Game: Defeated (9) Barons Ice Girls 354-172
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(12) Lucy Sparkles vs. (13) Vanity Perkins
(12) Lucy Sparkles
Conference: Coyote Grub
Who It Is: Lost Kangaroo
Biggest Strengths: Hopping.
Biggest Weaknesses: Not hopping fast enough.
Last Game: Defeated (5) Blake Griffin 269-251
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(13) Vanity Perkins
Conference: NBA Wives
Who She Is: Wife of OKC Thunder big man Kendrick Perkins
Biggest Strengths: Tells the truth about Edmond
Biggest Weaknesses: Not the best person to take to a nail salon.
Last Game: Defeated (4) Mike Gundy 287-276
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(3) Bibi Jones vs. (6) Tiffany Tatro
(3) Bibi Jones
Conference: On Again Off Again Pornstars
Who She Is: OKC born porn star born in a year you probably remember (1991)
Biggest Strengths: Can get your trailer hitch chrome free in no time. Golf ball stuck in your garden hose? She can handle that too.
Biggest Weaknesses: Modesty.
Last Game: Defeated (14) Governor's Mansion Hot Tub 367-121
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(6) Tiffany Tatro
Conference: Local News Vixens
Who She Is: Another super attractive KOKH reporter.
Biggest Strengths: Her tenacity in reporting all the important things that happen in OKC.
Biggest Weaknesses: Probably won’t be reporting in OKC for long having posted her reel in December.
Last Game: Defeated (11) Toby Keith 407-97
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(2) Kristin Chenoweth vs. (10) Dean Blevins
(2) Kristin Chenoweth
Conference: Tiny Human Spitfires
Who She Is: Oklahoma native who sings, acts, dances and makes people feel weird at the Oscars.
Biggest Strengths: Has got Carrie Underwood’s pipes packed in to half the Underwood.
Biggest Weaknesses: Can’t get that thing off the fridge. Again. Why’d you put it up there if you know damn well you can’t reach it?!
Last Game: Defeated (15) Don't Lay That Trash on Oklahoma Commercial 298-180
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(10) Dean Blevins
Conference: Local News Legends
Who He Is: Sportcaster for Channel 9; Sports host on The Sports Animal
Biggest Strengths: Does a good job in two different mediums.
Biggest Weaknesses: Should know people can’t take a joke, no matter how funny it is. Someone who works with J. Trabes should know that.
Last Game: Defeated (7) Greyson Chance 293-183
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