Another Tuesday, another two posts involving Ogle Madness VI. They should call it TWOs-day! Dammit! How am I not paid to be quippy?
Here's your match up for the first batch of games from the Midwest Region:
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981
(8) Mary Fallin vs. (9) Rowdy
(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Guy from the Key
(5) David Payne vs. (12) Skip Bayless
Check back later this afternoon to cast your vote for Midwest Region - Lower Bracket. What? Like you had anything greater than that planned for this afternoon. Life check! You didn't.
(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981
(1) Joleen Chaney
Conference: Local News Vixens
Who she is: KFOR Anchor; Appeared in Sweet Brown video; Appears in Patrick's Dreams
Biggest Strengths: Doubling up with Emily Sutton in the mornings, making Kent Ogle the Jack Tripper of morning news.
Biggest Weaknesses: Is engaged. Yeesh.
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(16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981
Conference: Unidentified Bodies With A Creepy Doppelganger
Who he/it is: Guy who died 31 years ago that no one has claimed.
Biggest Strengths: Scares the skull off my brain. Right. Damn. Off.
Biggest Weaknesses: Is probably never going to be identified as anything other than personal nightmare fuel.
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(8) Mary Fallin vs. (9) Rowdy
(8) Mary Fallin
Conference: First Oklahoma Women Governors
Who she is: Governors who will never be president/vice president of the United States; State Trooper Aficionado
Biggest Strengths: First Woman Governor of Oklahoma.
Biggest Weaknesses: Complying with open records laws.
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(9) Rowdy
Conference: Things Patrick cries in front of not called "television" or "mirror".
Who he is: Patrick's dog and confidant.
Biggest Strengths: Is trustworthy, a lifelong buddy and the original Ogle Mole.
Biggest Weaknesses: No opposable thumbs.
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(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Guy from The Key
(4) Bob Stoops
Conference: University of Oklahoma Legends - Non Boz/Non Switzer/Non Schooner Division
Who he is: Head coach of the University of Oklahoma Sooner Football Team; Visor Aficionado
Biggest Strengths: Winning.
Biggest Weaknesses: Losing when he should be winning.
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(13) Guy from the Key
Conference: People who aren't Wayne Coyne
Who he is: Guy who appears in late night commercials for the world's cheesiest car ads
Biggest Strengths: Isn't Wayne Coyne.
Biggest Weaknesses: Making people want to buy a car.
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(5) David Payne vs. (12) Skip Bayless
(5) David Payne
Conference: Former KFOR Employee
Who he is: Gary England Protegé
Biggest Strengths: Mentioned us numerous times on the air.
Biggest Weaknesses: Inability to control self when sees weather event.
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(12) Skip Bayless
Conference: ESPN employees who lie about their high school record.
Who he is: Commentators hanging on to 40-year-old lies.
Biggest Strengths: Annoying the world.
Biggest Weaknesses: A grown man who lied about high school sports. High. School. Sports.
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