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Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Midwest Region (Upper Bracket)

7:00 AM EDT on March 19, 2013

Another Tuesday, another two posts involving Ogle Madness VI. They should call it TWOs-day! Dammit! How am I not paid to be quippy?

Here's your match up for the first batch of games from the Midwest Region:

(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981

(8) Mary Fallin vs. (9) Rowdy

(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Guy from the Key

(5) David Payne vs. (12) Skip Bayless

Check back later this afternoon to cast your vote for Midwest Region - Lower Bracket. What? Like you had anything greater than that planned for this afternoon. Life check! You didn't.

(1) Joleen Chaney vs. (16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981

joleen chaney pinkdress

(1) Joleen Chaney 

Conference: Local News Vixens

Who she is: KFOR Anchor; Appeared in Sweet Brown video; Appears in Patrick's Dreams

Biggest Strengths: Doubling up with Emily Sutton in the mornings, making Kent Ogle the Jack Tripper of morning news.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is engaged. Yeesh.

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Skull1

(16) Unidentified Dead Man from 1981

Conference: Unidentified Bodies With A Creepy Doppelganger

Who he/it is: Guy who died 31 years ago that no one has claimed.

Biggest Strengths: Scares the skull off my brain. Right. Damn. Off.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is probably never going to be identified as anything other than personal nightmare fuel.

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(8) Mary  Fallin vs. (9) Rowdy 

398px-Mary_Fallin_official_110th_Congress_photo

(8) Mary Fallin 

Conference: First Oklahoma Women Governors

Who she is: Governors who will never be president/vice president of the United States; State Trooper Aficionado

Biggest Strengths: First Woman Governor of Oklahoma.

Biggest Weaknesses: Complying with open records laws.

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rowdy car

(9) Rowdy

Conference: Things Patrick cries in front of not called "television" or "mirror".

Who he is: Patrick's dog and confidant.

Biggest Strengths: Is trustworthy, a lifelong buddy and the original Ogle Mole.

Biggest Weaknesses: No opposable thumbs.

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(4) Bob Stoops vs. (13) Guy from The Key

stoops

(4) Bob Stoops

Conference: University of Oklahoma Legends - Non Boz/Non Switzer/Non Schooner Division

Who he is: Head coach of the University of Oklahoma Sooner Football Team; Visor Aficionado

Biggest Strengths: Winning.

Biggest Weaknesses: Losing when he should be winning.

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TheKey

(13) Guy from the Key

Conference: People who aren't Wayne Coyne

Who he is: Guy who appears in late night commercials for the world's cheesiest car ads

Biggest Strengths: Isn't Wayne Coyne.

Biggest Weaknesses: Making people want to buy a car.

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(5) David Payne vs. (12) Skip Bayless

david-payne

(5) David Payne

Conference: Former KFOR Employee

Who he is: Gary England Protegé

Biggest Strengths: Mentioned us numerous times on the air.

Biggest Weaknesses: Inability to control self when sees weather event.

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skip bayless start in high school

(12) Skip Bayless

Conference: ESPN employees who lie about their high school record.

Who he is: Commentators hanging on to 40-year-old lies.

Biggest Strengths: Annoying the world.

Biggest Weaknesses: A grown man who lied about high school sports. High. School. Sports.

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