A few months ago, we lost Joleen Chaney — the second hottest and nicest girl in the Oklahoma City media — to an engagement. After hearing the news, I spent a couple of weeks in a state of shock. I was constantly weeping and asking "Why...Why," but after some deep thought and reading those books that inspired BeeBee Jonez to retire for six months, I realized the entire thing was probably a vast conspiracy by some conservative lobby group.
Well, it looks like my theory has been proven true. The conservatives really are out to get us! On Saturday night, KOKH Morning Anchor Liz Dueweke — the hottest and meanest girl in the OKC media — announced she is engaged to KFOR's AJ Mertz. In addition to that, we're hearing rumors that Liz may be leaving for Seattle! Talk about a double whammy. Not only does she get engaged, but then she skips town. Why don't you cut out our heart, show it to us while we're alive, and then tell us you've built up an immunity to iocane powder while you're at it?
First, here's a tweet about the engagement: