A few weeks ago, we had a caption contest for the pic above. It features Oklahoma's pink-haired "First Daughter" — Christina Fallin — kissing local gay musician Jacob Abello. Out of the 116 submissions, here are 10 of my favorites. If one of your captions is listed, send me an email and I'll get you a TLO Trivia Night ink pen (estimated value: $0.25) in the mail sometime soon.
• Does this gay guy make me look pale?
• Lets use "annulment" as our safe word.
• I’m a lesbian now, right?
• Mom says it’s time for a European vacation….let’s get married!
• Nope, still gay!
• Rally — I taste like Pepto-Bismol, too!
• Ok, I’ll play my mom and you play the shirtless Highway Patrolman.
• Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!
• I only make out with people who have worse hair coloring than I do.
• This is hotter than my mom’s hot tub.
Good times. Thanks to everyone who participated. We'll have another caption contest soon. You can check out all the captions here.
Anyway, one reason I'm bringing this up is that Jacob Abello auditioned for American Idol in Oklahoma City and actually made it to Hollywood. He wasn't featured on TV or anything, but here's his "Road to Hollywood" interview:
Ha. He listed Freddie Mercury, David Bowie and early Madonna as his influences. That's gayer than the Boom on a Saturday night. I bet The Pet Shop Boys, Cher and the cast of Glee are pissed that he excluded them.
Actually, we've heard from several Ogle Moles that Jacob is a cool and talented musician. Sure, he awkwardly kissed Christina Fallin, but what musician from Oklahoma City hasn't gotten stoned and done that on a Saturday night? If you want to make it in this town, it's something you have to do. It's a local right of passage just like playing at VZDs or pretending you like Scott Booker.
Anyway, we wish Jacob Abello the best of luck in Hollywood. Hopefully he makes it big and wins so this post will gets a bunch of hits in a few months. If he doesn't, maybe he'll at least kiss Nicki Minaj and post the pics to Instagram. That would make a good caption contest.
