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Now Hiring: Dunk Tank Clown for the Oklahoma State Fair

10:30 AM EDT on September 18, 2012

I doubt this surprises any of you, but one my favorite things about the Oklahoma State Fair is the insult clown inside the dunk tank. When I was a kid, I would stand by his spot near the Midway and listen to all the smart ass comments he would launch at the toothless and the damned. At times, I thought the clown had the coolest job in the world, until of course, he would get dunked and I'd be reminded of my strange fear of water.

Anyway, it looks like I may have missed out on an opportunity to pursue a borderline childhood dream. Check out this classified ad in the Oklahoman that an Ogle Mole emailed to us:

That's it? There's no requirement to be a fan of Friars Club Roasts or Al Jaffey? I wonder what the interview questions are like. I bet they go something like:

"What's your biggest weakness? Seriously."

"Give me 10 bald jokes about your ex-boss."

"Can you share a past experience where you had to sarcastically point out the flaws of a fat woman to her face?"

"How would you make fun of a peanut butter sandwich?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years? And if it's doing this, have you considered suicide?"

Anyway, I am soooooo tempted to call this number. It's too bad I have things like self-respect, pride and fear to keep me from doing it. You see, making fun of people behind the thinly veiled anonymity of the internet is respectful and classy, but doing it in public while Mexican gang members throw balls at you is just stupid and ignorant.

Hopefully some Ogle Mole calls Peggy, gets the job, and if they're not kidnapped by a vagabond group of drifter carnies, reports back to us. I'd love to live vicariously through them for a day and hear what it's like to be high and dry.

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