Commercials are bad enough as they are. Throw an obnoxious spokesperson into the mix and it makes them downright unbearable. Thank Gary England for DVR. Now the Diffee kids, Rit and Bob Mills suit are just a split second and over-gelled blur on my TV.
For those of you who still watch commercials, vote on. Do it!
The Diffee Kids - Precocious and Awkward Car Hawkers
The worst about watching these kids is knowing they'll never have to worry about a thing as long they live. That sweet Diffee money ain't going anywhere. Outside one of them getting drunk at Lake Overholser and being attacked by a homeless man, I'd say these kids are set. You at least know they can't act worth a damn, and that's something.
Bobbie Burbridge Lane - Rambler With Dispensable Income
Whenever I hear her anti-pornography or Senior Follies ads on the Sports Animal, I ask myself two questions. The first, "What is this crazy old broad talking about?" The second, "What the hell am I doing listening to The Sports Animal and not driving off a cliff?"
Rit Mathis - Mathis Brothers Spokesman / President of Nepotism Admiration Society
After his pop decided doing eighty commercials a week was too much, the reigns of the two most rigid spokesmen on local television were handed to the "capable" hands of Rit. He's basically like both Mathis Brothers rolled into one, only more rigid, and extremely fascinated with Jenga:
The guy from the Key / NOT Wayne Coyne
Not Wayne Coyne of The Key tells us while riding a bus things are hard. You need a car. Your credit is crap. Well this car dealership is different because, well, Not Wayne Coyne says it is! You can deal with cool people and sometimes when you want to shake your baby just come on down to The Key and chill out and read books! It's a cool place! I bet the "coolness" promised by Not Wayne Coyne dries up pretty quick when the payments stop.
Jason White - Heisman Winner
I know. People love the Sooners. People love their Heisman winners. People also love their air conditioning guys. Wait. What? I think that's the latest thing he's pitching. I just know every time he's selling something it involves him saying he's a Heisman winner and then he rambles on about whatever company threw loads of cash at him to say he likes their thing. Sure, he's a sell out, but I do the same thing if I could.