When it comes to my feelings on Facebook, what was once "enthusiasm" has slowly dwindled down to "indifference" and nowadays usually "annoyance." Sure, it's a good place to deposit mediocre pictures that are worth keeping but don't quite make the cut for Instagram. A well-placed "Like" is an easy way to show support for an acquaintance's impending nuptials without having to actually spend money on a gift. Facebook is also a great medium for figuring out which of your high school crushes now work at Quiktrip and thought getting a large koi fish tattoo on their forearm was a sound idea. Also, there was one point in my life (and by "in my life," I mean the semester I participated in OU's Integrated Business Core) that I really enjoyed plowing virtual fields and growing cyber pumpkins, and would celebrate the miracle of germination by semi-regularly publicizing my Farmville net worth on my Facebook wall.
Those are some useful things about Facebook, but as we all know, Facebook has now pretty much been reduced to a gigantic collection of irritating garbage. For example, I don't know what kind of f#$&tards think it's kosher to argue about politics or religion on another person's wall. I've never been much of a fan of naked baby photos, making peace signs in group snapshots, or "checking in" while running mundane errands. I don't have time to attend an event in Denver (but thanks for the invite), and I was a little embarrassed to reveal to the world that the person I was once "In A Relationship" with might have had "Danger" as a middle name. I'm not exactly one to promote douchebaggery, so Facebook is no longer really for me.
Despite the futility of my personal Facebook, I can never quite grow the balls necessary to deleting my account for good. Before yesterday morning, I thought this made me weak and well, just another "player in their games" if you will. Now, I'm keeping my account with pride just in case something crazy happens, like if criminals break into my house and I'm rendered phoneless. Kind of like what happened to this chick a couple of days ago.
From the News on 6:
TULSA, Oklahoma -A Tulsa woman hid in a basement and used Facebook to call for help when two men broke into a home early Monday.
The incident happened just after 4 a.m. near 51st and Harvard.
The woman told Tulsa Police she was house sitting when two men came in through the front door so she ran to the basement.
Police say the woman had left her phone upstairs so she logged onto Facebook on a computer and used the chat feature to get a friend to call police.
When police officers arrived on scene, the men were gone.
The woman was not hurt.
Uh, thoughts?
• This weekend must have been pretty slow for a story like this to make the front page of News on 6's website. Other headlines that this story probably beat out: "Teen Sneaks into Matinee Showing of The Campaign," "Man Refills Quiktrip Cup, Flees the Scene," "Toddler Robs Gumball Machine," and "Chelsea Auditions for the Onion."
• Who has a computer sitting around in their basement? No wait, who actually gets wireless signals in their basement? No, really wait--what houses in Tulsa have basements? In fact, what exactly is a basement?
• It's a good thing this lady either had friends up at 4:00 am or knows someone who lives in England. I sure don't.
• You have to admit, something about this story sounds a little fishy. I skimmed the highly reliable comment section of this post, and other Tulsans seem to think that this was an inside job of sorts. Now, I would never accuse someone I don't know of such a dastardly feat, but it is true that a person whose first survival instinct is to consult Facebook Chat probably shouldn't be trusted.
• I used this strategy once when I lost my cell phone. I immediately felt like a pathetic loser. Oh well, at least the police helped me find me phone.
Follow Chelsea on Twitter at @xCawoodstock
