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Worst of OKC: Human

4:00 AM EDT on August 27, 2012

I used to work with one of the these nominees. My original write-up for the nominee was a diatribe on the different ways I'd like to this person get what's coming to them, but I decided to be slightly more polite. And less violent. Way less violent.

Well, since my dreams of a 45,000 word post on the benefits of  disembowelment by demon dogs have been dashed, check out the nominees for Worst Human and vote!

Sally Kern - District 84 Oklahoma State Representative

Besides looking like a twisted version of Dobby this woman is just as ugly on the inside. Her thoughts on gay marriage prompted Ellen to try to call her. Aside from Kern's voice sounding like what I imagine Charlie Brown's inbred parents from the 1800s sounding like, she's preaching hate. Pure, unadulterated, misguided, hate. She's dangerous. She also makes OKC come across like a homophobic haven for ignorance. So a homophobic haven. Oklahoma's gay community is pretty awesome and doesn't deserve the venom this woman spews.

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Clark Matthews - Co-Founder The Lost Ogle

Clark Matthews co-founded The Lost Ogle in 1973 as a way to bring entertainment and pithy commentary and commas to the internet masses of Oklahoma City. Recently, Clark decided that he wanted to reduce his role with the site, which apparently makes him a bad human(?). He listed 10 solid reasons for his decision, but if you read between the lines you'll know it's because Patrick wanted to monetize TLO with auto-load video ads.

Anyway, I'm upset Clark has left. Not only does it mean Patrick wants me to write more, but the site now has lower standards and quality. Clark Matthews is Walter White to Patrick's Jesse Pinkman. He's Michael to Patrick's Tito. He's Timberlake to Patrick's Lance. He's Matt Vaughn to Patrick's Joel Decker.

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Jim Miller - Former Voice of the OKC Thunder

Jim Miller allegedly did inappropriate things to some children. Just like I allegedly am typing these words right here. And here. Here are some more words I'm allegedly writing. F*** you Jim. Allegedly of course. If that's not enough to vote for him, I'm not sure what is.

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Joleen Chaney's Boyfriend

Do you notice that the guy's head is kind of shaped like a watermelon? I'm shaped like a watermelon and eat lots of watermelon, so maybe Joleen Chaney would go out with me when she dumps the man. Here's my mailing address:

Dr. Joel Decker, Esq., PhD.
PO Box 1492
Oklahoma City, OK  73112

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Lil' Wayne - "Rapper" / Walking Bling Holder

He's not from here, but that doesn't matter. First, dude looks like a thugged out version of Webster. Of the 4000 songs he's appeared on I can name two that are worth a damn. Aside from being a bedazzled douche, he rolled deep on game night and wanted a place for his "friends" to watch a playoff game at Chesapeake Arena. He got turned away. Sorry, fella. Swap a grill for some tickets son. Then he takes to Twitter to complain and insinuate racism. This prompted KD and Harden to both offer him tickets. Not good enough for Weezy.  Way to make something out of nothing, like millions have made him famous for no reason.

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