Hell, I guess we’ll write about the Valedictorian from Prague
7:43 AM EDT on August 21, 2012
Unless you're my dad and depend solely upon The Lost Ogle for local news and information, you've surely heard the story about the Kaitlin Nootbaar. She's the valedictorian from Prague High School who was denied her diploma because she, get this, dropped an H-bomb in her commencement speech.
The H-bomb she dropped wasn't atomic, nor was it the words "Hatefucker" or "Hercules Dick," which were my nicknames in high school. No, she had the nerve to say "Hell" in her commencement speech, which ironically enough, just happens to be the home of the Prague mascot.
Since KFOR broke the news, it's gone ultra-viral. It's made the front page of Yahoo and has been picked up by just about every major media outlet across the globe. This has led to an outpouring of support for Kaitlin, and a rush of people stumbling across our site in search of more information about Joleen Chaney. Seriously, check out our search engine stats from yesterday:
Sorry 75 random perverted dudes who saw a video of Joleen Chaney and then decided to search for bikini pics of her. We don't have any, and we don't know if any exist. However, if you did stumble across some while googling, can you send them our way? We'd love to post them. Plus, we heard bikini pics of Joleen Chaney make for a great watermelon fertilizer.
Anyway, it appears that the asshat who decided to withhold Kaitlin's diploma is Prague Public School's superintendent Rick Martin. He's been very defensive about the whole ordeal. Here's a picture of him from the Prague Public School's website.
Yikes. I guess you can't blame him from being upset. If some high school girl reminded me that my teeth and vulture eyes were delivered by Satan, I'd be upset, too. Seriously, look at the troll lizard. I bet that's the same smirk he gives after he spies on cheerleaders in the locker room. I think he found his ear in the floor of a meat-packing house. He looks like someone mated Ferris O'Brien with that dude who floats around from Dune.
To make matters worse, check out the statement he sent to Channel 4:
“My name is Rick Martin. I am the Superintendent at Prague Public Schools. This morning two news articles involving our school district and Kaitlin Nootbar [sic] , the valedictorian for the class of 2012, were brought to my attention. Unfortunately, I have not had any communication with any member of the Nootbar [sic] family regarding this matter. It has been reported that the district is denying Ms. Nootbar [sic] a diploma because of a statement made during the 2012 graduation exercises. My comments are limited to those matters already released to the media by the Nootbar [sic] family.
Valedictorians for Prague Public Schools earn this title through the achievement of academic excellence. Our school has traditionally allowed the valedictorian to speak as part of the district’s graduation ceremonies. Speakers are allowed significant freedom in their remarks but all speeches must be approved in advance as being appropriate for graduation exercises. In this case, Ms. Nootbar [sic] prepared an appropriate speech, which was approved by the high school principal. Unfortunately, she did not present the speech as written and used language that was inappropriate for a graduation exercise. Therefore, the high school principal requested a private apology for her transgression before releasing her diploma. His request was both reasonable and in keeping with established federal caselaw interpreting the First Amendment.
Ms. Nootbar [sic] is an outstanding student and her achievements have reflected positively on our district. It is my hope that the family will contact me personally so that this matter may be resolved between the proper parties.”
You stupid ginger fuck. Her last name is Nootbaar, not "Nootbar." Yeah, I know it's a pretty weird name and everything, but if you're going to deny her a diploma because she mentioned the home of Lucifer at her graduation, at least spell her name right. Also, why do you want the girl to apologize to you so badly? Do you have crush on her? Does it turn you on? Do you want to show her the Flowbee you use to cut your hair? Please let us know.
Anyway, hopefully someone will fire this holier than thou kolaches monster soon and get Kaitlin her diploma. Here are a few other quick notes:
• If you want to learn more about Prague, our former contributor Bridges profiled the town last year. Not only do they have a shrine for the infant baby Jesus, but for some guy named Avatar Meher Baba, too.
• NewsOK interviewed Kaitlin's dad and he seems pretty cool.
• I got my dog Rowdy from an Animal Rescue place near Prague. Not sure what that has to do with anything, but I felt like sharing.
• If you want to give Rick Martin, the Superintendent of Prague Public Schools, your thoughts on the matter — or just want to order him a pepperoni pizza to match his face —you can call at 405-567-4455. You can email him, too: email@example.com.
• And for the hell of it, here you go random internet pervert:
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